Enjoy our team's carefully selected Tooth Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Why did the Spanish Inquisition yank out people’s molars?
Because they wanted the tooth, the whole truth, so help them God.
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Chuck Norris can speak braille.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t use a vibrating toothbrush.
His plastic one trembles in fear.
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What do you call a red panda dentist?
A molar bear.
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I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining.
He just couldn’t find a role he could sink his teeth into.
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You know you’re 50 when you’re thankful when someone tells you that you have lipstick on your teeth because it means you still have teeth.
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You know you’re 50 when you and your teeth have decided that a separation is the best thing for your relationship.
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I tell you, my wife is a lousy cook.
After dinner, I don’t brush my teeth, I count them!
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What time did Goofy have a dentist appointment?
Tooth Hurty.
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A rabbit, a fox and a bear have to enroll in the army. Neither of the 3 are very happy about it, and the only chance they have to avoid it is by being rejected during the medical exam.
As they are waiting in line at the doctor’s office, their desperation builds up untill right before it’s the rabbits turn.
The rabbit turns to the fox, “Fox, I might have a plan. Bite off my ear, trust me on this one!”
The fox does so, and the rabbit enters the office.
A few moments later, he gets out yelling, “I was rejected, guys!”
“Because of your ear?” they ask.
“Yes, because without it, I can’t detect the enemy as well,” says rabbit.
“Good thinking,” they say.
And with that in mind the fox turns to the bear, “Rip my tail off!”
The bear doesn’t even hesitate and does so.
Then, the fox takes his turn in the office.
After a while he comes back yelling, “I am rejected too! Without my tail, I can’t be as sneaky and agile as I need to be.”
Now it was the bear’s turn to ask, “Quickly, guys, knock out all of my teeth, because a bear without teeth isn’t scary at all!”
The rabbit and the fox start beating the muzzle of the bear, completly breaking his face untill there is no tooth is left in his mouth.
He then proceeds to go inside the doctor’s office.
Not long after he gets out, he shouts, “Rejecwew!”
“Nice,” they say. “Because of your teeth, right?”
“Nwo,“ says the bear. “Too fat.”
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A patient goes to the dentist for a tooth extraction.
The dentist gives him some anesthesia and then quickly pulls out the tooth.
He says to the patient, “That’ll be $500, please.”
The patient says, “What! $500 for 5 minutes of extraction work? That’s a complete rip-off!”
The dentist replies, “Well, I can make it longer if you’d like.”
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My dentist mocked me today, saying that even though he’s much older than me, he has healthier teeth.
I said it must be because he has a better dentist.
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I’ve just seen a dentist having a big row with a manicurist.
They fought tooth and nail.
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My teeth were stained, so the dentist asked me, “Do you smoke or drink coffee?”
I told him I drink it.
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What do you call dental X-rays?
Tooth pics.
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Where does a majority of a hockey player’s salary come from?
The tooth fairy.
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A boy was riding his bicycle, and he sees his mom on the porch.
He releases the handle and yells to his mom, “Look mom, no hands!”
His mom replies, “Be careful, honey.”
Then he releases his legs from the pedals and says, “Look mom, no legs!”
His mom replies more sternly, “Be careful, honey.”
The little boy then abruptly falls, to the dismay of his mom.
The boy slowly gets back up and says, “Look mom, no teeth!”
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I was cycling to work when a snow plow suddenly overtook me at high speed, spreading salt which hit my face.
“BASTARD!” I shouted, through gritted teeth.
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Yo Mamas teeth are so yellow I can’t believe it’s not butter.
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What is a vampire’s worst fear?
Tooth decay.
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It’s so cold, I chipped my tooth on my soup.
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It’s so cold, your false teeth chatter, and they are still in the glass.
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A rabbit walks into a pharmacy and asks, “Do you sell carrots?”
The pharmacist, surprised, responds, “No, this is a pharmacy.”
The rabbit leaves only to return the next day and ask the same question.
This time, the man responds, “As I said before, no. Go to a grocery store.”
Again, the rabbit leaves and returns the following day with the same question.
Annoyed, the pharmacist says, “Look, rabbit, for the last time, we do not sell carrots. If you ask this once more, I swear I will punch you in the face.”
On the next day, the rabbit returns and asks, “Do you sell carrots?”
Furious, the pharmacist punches the rabbit so hard that its teeth get completely shattered.
The rabbit leaves... and comes back the next day,
“Do ya seh cahot juys?”
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So I was sitting on the bus just reading a book when somebody tapped me on the shoulder.
I turned around and saw an old lady.
She said to me, “Sonny, would you like some nuts? I’ve got a couple of hazelnuts and almonds if you’d like.”
“Sure.”, I replied. Then she gave me a handful of nuts and went back to sit with her friends.
“What a nice lady”, I thought, while happily munching on the nuts.
A few minutes later, I felt another tap on my shoulder and there she was again, offering some nuts.
I gladly accepted and she went back to her seat.
After about 10 minutes, she tapped me on the shoulder, once again offering some nuts.
I asked her, “Why don’t you eat them yourself?”
“Because we’ve got no teeth,” she replied.
“Then why do you buy them?”, I asked.
“Oh, because we just love the chocolate around them.”
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When the Tooth fairy comes to your house, she takes your tooth and gives you money.
When Chuck Norris comes to your house, he breaks your tooth and takes your money.
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What do you call a bear with no teeth?
Gummy bear.
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What’s the best thing to put into a pie?
Your teeth!
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