Tiger Jokes

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Tiger Jokes

My ex told me her spiritual animal was the tiger.

But it turned out it was the cheetah.

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On which side does a tiger have the most stripes?

The outside.

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A lion would never play golf.

But a Tiger Wood.

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Two retired British Army officers are speaking.

1st officer: β€œSay, old chap, did I ever tell you about the time I was attacked by a Bengal tiger?”

2st officer: β€œI dare say I’ve not heard that one.”

1st officer: β€œI decided one summer to try my hand at taking down one of the royal beasts. I hired a guide from the local village, and armed with my rifle we set out.

Several hours into the hunt and deep in a mangrove swamp, we stumbled upon fresh tracks.

It was not more than a few minutes of tracking the great beast when we heard itβ€”a low, guttural sound from behind.

I quickly turned and as I readied my rifle, the tiger leapt from the shadows, teeth and claws bared. Rrrraaaaaarrrrrr! I shat my pants.”

2st officer: β€œOf course you shat your pants, old chap. You were attacked by a Bengal Tiger!”

1st officer: β€œNo, right now when I went β€˜Rrrraaaaaarrrrr!’.”

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If a Bengal tiger is attacking your mother-in-law and spouse, who will you save?

The Bengal tiger of course! They’re getting extinct in the world.

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Boyfriend: β€œI’d really like to have enough money to buy a white tiger!”

Girlfriend: β€œWhat on Earth would you do with a white tiger?!”

Boyfriend: β€œWho said I’d get a white tiger? I just want that much money!”

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