Tennis Puns and Hilarious Tennis Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Tennis Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

A priest and a nun are having a tennis match.

The priest is very competitive, but can’t seem to bring his A-game to the nun who is clearly better.

After a volley from the nun, the priest misses and yells: “Goddamn it! I missed!”, startling the nun.

She let it slip by and the match continues.

But alas, after a fierce back-hand from the nun, the priest misses and again yells: “Goddamn it! I missed!”

“Stop it!” yells the nun. “You can’t use the Lords name in vain like that!”

The priest apologizes, “I’m sorry, sister. I swear to you, if I do it again, may God smite me with all his might.”

“Fair enough,” grumbles the nun.

The match continues. It’s going really well, but as fate may have it, the priest misses and slips another “Goddamn it! I missed!”

Suddenly thick, dark clouds gather in the sky and with roaring thunder, a lightning bolt shoots down to the earth and vaporizes the nun into ashes...

A thundering voice emits from the skies, “Damn it! I missed!”

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Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm.

His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached.

The next day he goes to see his chum and finds him playing tennis.

“Incredible!,” says his friend.

“Medical science is amazing!”

Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade and this time his leg gets cut off.

Again his buddy takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital to get re-attached.

The next day, he goes down to see his chum and finds him outside playing football.

“Incredible!,” says his friend.

“Medical science is amazing!”

Well, another month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close to the blade and off comes his head.

Well, his friend takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital to get it re-attached.

The next day he goes to see his friend but can’t find him.

He sees the doctor walking down the hall and says, “Doc, where is my friend? I brought him in yesterday.”

The doctor thinks for a minute and says, “Oh yeah, some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated.”

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I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my PlayStation.

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