Teaching Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Teaching Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Teaching Jokes


A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, β€œIn English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative.”

But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, β€œYeah, right.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why was the poet teaching at a prison so happy?

She had a captive audience.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Recently, I’ve started teaching a poetry class in a maximum security prison.

It’s a tough job, but I enjoy it.

It really has its prose and cons.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


A math teacher welcomed a new French exchange student into her class and then started teaching a lesson on fractions.

The French exchange student raised his hand and said, β€œExcuse me, Madam, but I don’t know how to say fractions. How do you say those?”

β€œEasy,” said the teacher, β€œyou just say the top number and then the bottom number is read as an ordinal number. For example, 2/3 is two-thirds, 3/4 is three-fourths, and 2/5 is two-fifths.”

β€œThanks, I understand,” said the exchange student.

β€œGood,” said the teacher, and then asked the French student, β€œso how do you say 4/8?”

β€œShould I reduce?” asked the boy.

β€œThat would be best,” said the teacher.

β€œOne-second,” said the boy.

β€œTake as long as you need,” said the teacher.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Now that I’m teaching remotely, I can’t reward my students for their good work.

So I tell them to visit my website for cookies instead.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Dear Students,

I know when you are texting in class. No one just looks down at their crotch and smiles.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Teachers deserve a lot of credit.

Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldn’t need it.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


My English teacher used to quote Lord of the Rings to us.

She used to say β€œYou shall not pass!”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


The judge rose from the bench and said, β€œMadam, I’ve waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court.”

Then he smiled as he said, β€œNow, sit down at that table and write 500 times β€˜I will not pass through a red light.’”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Roland, an Englishman went to Spain on a fishing trip.

While there, Roland hired a Spanish guide to help him find the best fishing spots. Since Roland was learning Spanish, he asked the guide to speak to him in Spanish and to correct any mistakes of usage.

Together they were hiking on a mountain trail when a very large, purple and blue fly crossed their path.

The Englishmen pointed at the insect with his fishing rod, and announced, β€œMira el mosca.”

The guide, sensing a teaching opportunity to teach Roland, replied, β€œNo, senor, β€œla mosca”, es feminina.”

Roland looked at him in amazement, then back at the fly, and then said, β€œGood heavens... you must have incredibly good eyesight.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


















© 2022-2023 jokes.best