Swimming Jokes

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Swimming Jokes

Jesus walked on water.

Chuck Norris swims through the land.

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Why do squirrels swim on their backs?

To keep their nuts dry.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead decided to compete in the Breast Stroke division of the English Channel swim competition.

The brunette came in first and the redhead second.

The blonde finally reached the shore completely exhausted.

After being revived with blankets and a drink she said, β€œI don’t want to complain, but I’m pretty sure those other two girls used their arms.”

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One day a boy went swimming in a lake. He soon got into trouble, though and was starting to drown.

Luckily, there was a firefighter by the lake who swam out and pulled the boy up onto the beach and began CPR.

A crowed gathered round and watched as the firefighter frantically pumped on the boys chest. Water kept pouring from the boy’s mouthe ach time the firefighter pumped more water came out.

A short time later, seaweed started coming out, then minnows, then more water started coming out of the boy’s mouth. The firefighter feared this would never stop.

Just then, a paramedic arrived, quickly ran over to the firefighter and said, β€œHey, Chief! You better get that kid’s butt out of the water before you pump that lake dry.”

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If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks.

It cost me an arm and a leg.

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I watched hockey before it was cool.

They basically were swimming.

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Two young boys walked into a pharmacy, picked out a box of feminine product, and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, β€œSon, how old are you?”

β€œEight,” the boy replied.

The man continued, β€œDo you know what these are used for?”

The boy replied, β€œNot exactly, but they aren’t for me. They’re for him. He’s my brother. He’s four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you will be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can’t do either.”

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