Surgical Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Surgical Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Surgical Jokes


A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!

Home is where the heart is.

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Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?

He played his heart out.

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What don’t you want to hear in the middle of surgery?

β€œWhere’s my watch?”

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The orthopedic doctor was feeling a bit patella-tive after a long day of surgeries.

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My orthopedic surgeon has the bone-dacity to tell jokes during surgery.

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She nailed the surgery.

But she’s still having a few screws loose.

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Why was the hip bone so calm during surgery?

Because it knew everything would be alright.

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What do youΒ callΒ a hip bone that’s late for surgery?

Hip-late.

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How did the hip bone feel after surgery?

Absolutely joint-ful!

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When the rapper needed surgery, he got a hip-hop replacement.

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What’s a hipster’s favorite type of surgery?

A hip replacement.

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What do you callΒ a skeleton who just had hip surgery?

Hip-ster!

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Why did the hip bone go to theΒ coffeeΒ shop?

Because it needed a little perk-me-up after surgery.

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Why did the orthopedicΒ surgeonΒ bring a radio into surgery?

Because he wanted to tune into the hip-est station.

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Why did the hip surgery patient bring a suit to the hospital?

Because he wanted to be hip and dapper during recovery.

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What’s the most common operation in a Lego hospital?

Plastic surgery.

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A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.

The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.

The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.

He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital.

A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms and a pen.

She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.

β€œDo you have health insurance?” she asked.

He replied in a raspy voice, β€œNo health insurance.”

The nun asked, β€œDo you have money in the bank?”

He replied, β€œNo money in the bank.”

Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?” asked the irritated nun.

He said, β€œI only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun.”

The nun became agitated and announced loudly, β€œNuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God.”

The patient replied, β€œPerfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law.”

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