Jokes on Sunday



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Sunday Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Sunday Jokes


Chicken to turkey:

โ€œOnly Thanksgiving and Christmas? Youโ€™re lucky, with us itโ€™s any Sunday.โ€

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What do you call it when you prank a person on Sunday?

Sabbathtoge.

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My wife asked me, โ€œWhy are there holes in your pants?โ€

I said, โ€œItโ€™s Sunday, right?โ€

My wife: โ€œYeah?โ€

Me: โ€œWell, these are my holy pants.โ€

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Sunday school teacher: โ€œTell me, Johnny. Do you say prayers before eating?โ€

Johnny: โ€œNo, maโ€™am, I donโ€™t have to. My momโ€™s a good cook.โ€

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How did Garfield stop the rooster from waking him on Monday morning?

He ate him on Sunday night!

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A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the man behind the counter, after dropping off his prescription, โ€œExcuse me, but what time do you close on Sunday?โ€

He replies, โ€œOh, we donโ€™t close on Sunday.โ€

Pleasantly surprised, the man picks up some other items and leaves.

The next dayโ€”Sundayโ€”the man goes to pick up his prescription, only to find a closed sign hanging on the door of the pharmacy. Peeved at the lying pharmacist, he trudges back home and waits Monday.

Monday morning, right as the pharmacist unlocks the door, the man is running up to him, shouting.

โ€œHey! You said that you never closed on Sundays, but when I came around yesterday, you were closed! What gives?โ€

The pharmacist looks at the man and says, โ€œWell, we in fact did not close yesterday, because we never even opened!โ€

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A man left for work one Friday morning.

Instead of going home after work, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending all his wages. When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife. After a while she stopped nagging and said, โ€œHow would you like it if you didnโ€™t see me for two or three days?โ€

โ€œThat would be fine with meโ€, he replied.

Monday went by and he didnโ€™t see his wife.

Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same result.

Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

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Mrs. Lewis, a Sunday school teacher, asked her little children one Easter Sunday, as they were on the way to the church service, โ€œAnd why is it necessary to be quiet in church?โ€

Rebecca, a bright little girl piped up, โ€œBecause people are sleeping!โ€

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A farmer plays a prank on Easter Sunday.

After the egg hunt, he sneaks into the chicken coop and replaces every white egg with a brightly colored one.

Minutes later, the rooster walks in.

He spots the colored eggs, then storms out and beats up the peacock.

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Reverend Clive Morgan was completing his homily in St Johnโ€™s Church about the dangers of alcohol and the need for moderation and temperance.

He announced at the end of the sermon in a loud, clear voice, โ€œIf I had all the beer in the world, Iโ€™d take it and throw it into the river.โ€ ย 

With even greater emphasis he added, โ€œAnd if I had all the wine in the world, Iโ€™d take it and throw it into the river.โ€

Finally, he intoned in an extremely serious manner, โ€œAnd if I had all the whiskey in the world, Iโ€™d take it and throw it into the river.โ€

The Reverend Morgan then sat down.

Jerry, St Johnโ€™s leading chorister stood up and announced with a smile, โ€œFor our closing hymn this Sunday, let us sing together hymn number 109: Shall We Gather at the River.โ€

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During a Sunday school lesson, a child learned about how God created human beings.

The child became especially focused when the teacher explained how Eve was created from Adamโ€™s ribs.

Later in the week, the boyโ€™s mother saw him lying down on the floor, so she asked him what was wrong.

His reply was priceless, โ€œMom, I have a pain in my sideโ€”I think Iโ€™m getting a wife.โ€

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