Enjoy our team's carefully selected Sun Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
My wife asked me, “Why are there holes in your pants?”
I said, “It’s Sunday, right?”
My wife: “Yeah?”
Me: “Well, these are my holy pants.”
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Why do lemons use sun tan lotion?
Because if they don’t they’ll peel!
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How can Minecraft players avoid sunburn?
Sunblock.
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How much far can you see with your naked eyes, on a clear day?
92,955,807 miles (to the sun).
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What do you call a sausage who’s been sunbathing all day?
Done!
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What will reading sun jokes under the sun make you?
Well red.
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What is sun-bathing called in northern Spain?
Basqueing.
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Which Marvel supervillain loves being under the sun?
Tan-os.
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Why is the sun such a famous celeb?
Because he is literally a shining star, as everyone knows.
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What is another fancy name for a sun fart?
A solar flare.
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Why is the sun not very heavy to carry?
Because it is really very light.
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What would the sun say if he had a wife?
You are my sol-mate.
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Why did the sun feel so dizzy?
Because he felt light-headed.
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What are the sun’s favorite chocolate bars?
A Milky Way.
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Why is the sun such an egomaniac?
He believes that everything revolves around him.
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What does nitrogen become when the sun comes up?
Daytrogen.
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What kind of eclipse is it when the sun moves in front of the moon?
An Apocaclipse.
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Did you hear about the snowman who got angry when the sun came out?
He had a total meltdown.
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What do you call a female horse that refuses to work while the sun is up?
A Nightmare!
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Why did the sun not go to college?
Because it already has a million degrees!
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What is green, white, and red all over?
An elf with a sunburn.
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Why did the teacher wear sunglasses in class?
Because the class was so bright!
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What does the sun drink out of?
Sun-glasses.
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Why did Ms. Moon split up with Mr. Sun?
He never wanted to go out with her at night.
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Which is older, the moon or the sun?
The moon, because it can stay out all night.
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What happens to pigs when they stay in the sun too long?
Turn into bacon.
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Did you know that all the planets in the solar system are named after a god?
Except earth, which is named after all that stuff on the ground.
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August 20, 2020:
Scientists have discovered a “mystery object” in space. The object is equal to 2.6 solar masses.
March 1, 2021 (Update):
Scientists have determined that the “mystery object” is made up of unmatched socks.
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A drill sergeant ran his platoon of recruits all over the camp in the hot sun with heavy packs on.
As they stood there, exhausted, he put his face up to one of the recruit’s face and said, “I’ll bet you’re wishing I would die so you could come and urinate on my grave, aren’t you?”
And the recruit says, “No, sir! When I get out of the army I’m never gonna stand in another line again!”
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As the animals left the ark, Noah told them to go forth and multiply.
After some time, Noah came upon two snakes who were just lying there sunning themselves...
So Noah asked them, “Why aren’t you multiplying?”
The snakes replied, “We can’t, we’re adders.”
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“I wanna be the sun of your life!”
“Then stay at 1 000 000 km of me!”
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After the Americans went to the Moon, Murphy and Declan announced that the Kerry Men would go one better and send a man to the Sun.
Murphy objected, “If you send a man to the Sun, he will burn up!”
“What do you think we are, stupid?” Declan replied, “We’ll send our
man at night!”
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When we go to the beach with the kids, we use a really strong sunblock.
It’s SPF 80: You squeeze the tube, and a sweater comes out.
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Being vegan is so easy that I literally just stare at the sun and I’m satisfied.
Thanks, photosynthesis.
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People gave the sun a rating.
It was only one star.
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Sun to Earth, on the night of 31st December:
“Let’s have another round, shall we?”
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Warning!
Do not look at the sun through a colander.
You’ll strain your eyes.
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The moon asked the sun, “Buddy, when you are so hot, why are you single yet?”
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Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...
And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
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Bread is like the Sun:
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
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Living on Earth might be expensive, but at least you get a free trip around the Sun every year.
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Yo mama is so hot she makes the sun sweat.
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Earth is the third planet from the sun.
By this logic, all countries are third-world countries.
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Yo mama is so hot she makes the sun look like Antarctica.
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My wife really is the sunshine of my life.
Too bad I’m a vampire.
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I’m chronically depressed, but my spirits feel uplifted when I’m outside in the beautiful sunshine.
I guess I must be solar-powered?
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My kids are the sunshine of my life.
Over-exposition invariably leads to burnout.
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I’ve invented a solar-powered still!
It turns sunshine into moonshine.
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What's the sequel to Mario Sunshine?
Mario Sunburnt!
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I’ll never forget this solar eclipse, it’ll forever be seared into my mind...
...and retinas. I really should’ve worn some glasses.
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What would be the first thing communists do if they ruled the solar system?
Rename Uranus to Ouranus.
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I really wish someone would have told me how long this solar eclipse was going to take.
Don’t get me wrong, I had been enjoying watching it, but had I known it would still be going on for this long, I would have bought a pair of those fancy NASA glasses.
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Elon’s opening speech for the Tesla Solar Roof really got my attention...
Who knew there were thousands of hot shingles in my area?!
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You can look at the solar eclipse directly.
Once with your left eye, once with your right eye.
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NASA sent a probe to all of the planets in our solar system but quit after Uranus...
They found it to be a poophole.
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What’s a vegan’s favorite non-terrestrial moon in the solar system?
En-salad-us.
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Ganymede left Jupiter and flew out of the solar system last week.
I saw it today in the orbituaries.
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Saturn and Neptune are the butt cheeks of the solar system.
Uranus is between them.
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There’s a contest going around and if you win 1st place you get a whole solar system named after you.
Second place is just a constellation prize.
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I asked my German friend how many planets are in our Solar System.
Surprisingly he said, “Nine.”
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I’ve finally saved up enough for solar panels.
What’s holding me back is that I can’t afford a house.
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I think Saturn’s name is the best in our solar system.
It has a nice ring to it.
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Why are solar panels so trustworthy?
They don’t work in the shadows.
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Generating all of our power from solar energy...
... it’s not going to happen overnight!
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I don’t plan to put up solar panels...
But, if you do, more power to you.
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How does the solar system keep its pants from falling down?
It uses an asteroid belt.
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I own a solar powered food maker.
It’s an apple tree.
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Why haven’t aliens visited our Solar System yet?
They looked at the reviews... only 1 star.
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CEO of Tesla invented solar-energy gathering grass!
I love the stuff. My only complaint is that it had a real e-lawn musk smell to it.
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What is the best college to apply to learn about solar radiation?
U.V. Ray.
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Why did the tree install solar panels?
It wanted to be a power plant.
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Son: “Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
Dad: “No sun.”
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Your mama so dumb she bought a solar-powered flashlight.
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Do you have solar panels on your home yet? I just had some put on. But I’m not sure if I’ll keep them.
The other day I was in my house and the computer and lights are flickering. So I did, what you would do, I went outside to check my new solar cells.
I get outside and look up at the roof, and there is a Gorilla messing with my solar panels.
I grabbed my phone and searched for what to do.
What luck! An ad for “Gorilla removal”.
I called the number and they said they were in the neighborhood and would be there in 5 minutes.
5 minutes later a white van showed up and as I approached the van this guy came around and opened the back van door. He pulled out a ladder, boxing gloves, a shotgun, and out jumped a little dog.
At this point, I asked the guy, “Hey what’s the plan?”
He said, “Well, I’m going to put the ladder against the house, climb up on the roof, put on the boxing gloves, and box the gorilla off the roof. The little dog will bite him in the nuts and you’ll never see that Gorilla again.”
To which I asked, “What’s the shotgun for?”
“Well, if by chance the Gorilla knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.”
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Memo from Director-General to Manager:
Today at 11 o’clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes.
As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the car park.
Staff should meet in the car park at ten to eleven when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse and giving some background information.
Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.
Memo from Manager to Department Head:
Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will disappear for two minutes.
For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles.
The Director-General will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some background information. This is not something that can be seen every day.
Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager:
The Director-General will today deliver a short speech to make the sun disappear for two minutes in the eclipse.
This is something that can not be seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven.
This will be safe if you pay a moderate cost.
Memo From Floor Manager to Supervisor:
Ten or eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the Director-General will eclipse the sun for two minutes.
This doesn’t happen every day. It will be safe, but it will cost you.
Memo from Supervisor to staff:
Some staff will go to the car park today to see the Director-General disappear.
It is a pity this doesn’t happen every day.
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A young Arab boy asks his father, “What is that strange hat you are wearing?”
The father said, “Why, my son, it is a “chechia”. In the desert it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun.”
“And what is the long flowing robe you are wearing?” asked the boy.
“Oh, my son!” exclaimed the father, “It is very simple. This is a “djbellah”. As I have told you, in the desert it is not only very hot, but the sand is always blowing. My “djbellah” protects the entire body.”
The son then asked, “But Father, what about those ugly shoes you have on your feet?”
“These are “babouches” my son,” the father replied. You must understand that although the desert sands are very beautiful, they are also extremely hot. These “babouches” keep us from burning our feet.”
“So tell me then,” added the boy.
“Yes, my son...”
“Why are we living in Birmingham and still wearing all this shit?
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One Sunny afternoon, two blondes walk down the street.
One of them suddenly points at the sun and says: “Look! That’s the moon over there!”
The other one says: “No, that’s the sun!”
The first one: “No, it’s the moon!”
The other one, again: “No, it’s the sun!”
After arguing for a while, the “smart” one says: “Let’s go to that house over there and ask, what’s right!”
They go to the house and ring the doorbell. Another blonde opens the door.
The “smart” one asks: “Excuse us, can you tell us, whether it’s the sun or the moon in the sky?”
The blonde looks and says: “I wouldn’t know! I’ve only been living here for two weeks!”
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