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Jokes on Students



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Student Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Student Jokes


A somewhat advanced society has figured out how to package basic knowledge in pill form.

A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available.

The pharmacist says, β€œHere’s a pill for English literature.”

The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature!

β€œWhat else do you have?” asks the student.

β€œWell, I have pills for art history, biology and world history,” replies the pharmacist.

The student asks for these, swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects.

Then the student asks, β€œDo you have a pill for math?”

The pharmacist says, β€œWait just a moment,” and goes back into the storeroom and brings back a whopper of a pill and plunks it on the counter.

β€œI have to take that huge pill for math?” inquires the student.

The pharmacist replied, β€œWell, you know... math always was a little hard to swallow.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Chocolate is like guns.

If you pull it out in school, then everybody is suddenly your friend.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Yo mama so fat, her school pictures were taken by a satellite.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Little Ahmed is doing his biology homework.

He comes upon a question:

What separates the head from the body?

Ahmed answers:

The axe.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I told my dad I couldn’t believe I’d failed my biology exam.

He said, β€œI’m your mum!”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


During a biology exam, a student has to list three pros of breast milk.

He’s unprepared, but starts looking for common sense answers and writes down:

– Contains all the nutrients a baby needs.

– Doesn’t need heating.

But he still needs one more.

And just as the time is about to run out, the student writes:

– Has great packaging.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why is it impossible for students to sleep 8 hours every day?

Because school is only 6 hours a day!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why did the student eat his homework?

Because he didn’t have a dog.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


An accountancy student asks a partner to explain ethics in accountancy.

The partner thinks for a moment and relates the following, β€œMr. Jones, one of our clients, came to see me last week and paid me his bill of Β£1,000 in cash. As he left I counted the notes and they came to Β£1,100.”

The student said, β€œI see. The ethics question is β€˜Do I tell the client?’”

β€œWrong answer! The question is β€˜Do I tell my partner?’”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


A mugger jumps out in front of a university student and shouts, β€œYour money or your life!”

The student keeps walking and says, β€œSorry mate, I’m a Computer Science student. I don’t have either.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


A kid from Mississippi is on Harvard campus for the first time, he stops a student and asks, β€œExcuse me, can you tell me where the library is at?”

The Harvard student replies, β€œAt Harvard, you don’t end a sentence with a preposition.”

The kid said, β€œSorry about that. Can you tell me where the library is at, asshole?”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Teacher: β€œTake a seat”.

Student: β€œWhere do you want me to take it to?”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What would happen if you took the school bus home?

The police would make you bring it back!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Who should be your best friend at school?

Your princi-pal!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why did Johnny take a ruler to bed?

Because he wanted to see how long he slept!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why did the boy eat his homework?

Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


My teacher always tells me to follow my dreams, but she won’t let me sleep in class.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„





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