Stress Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Stress Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Stress Jokes

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œHow did Thanksgiving go at your place?” the bartender asks.

β€œOh, it went fine. Had a lot of family over and the wife prepared the meal. I helped out, though. She got a little stressed out and told me she needed some peace and quiet in the kitchen so she could finish cooking,” the guy says. β€œSo I removed all the batteries from the smoke detectors.”

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A reporter was interviewing a 102-year-old woman.

β€œWhat’s the secret to your longevity?”, he asked.

Old woman: β€œSimple. The biggest cause of aging is stress, and the biggest cause of stress is arguing with people. So I never argue with anyone.”

The reporter laughed, β€œThat’s ridiculous. That can’t be the real reason.”

The old lady smiled and nodded, β€œYou’re probably right.”

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I can’t imagine the stress put on the workers in trying to figure out the newest flu vaccine...

It probably puts a strain on the staff.

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My doctor told me to avoid any unnecessary stress.

So I didn’t open his bills.

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Yoga class helps me calm down from the agonizing stress of trying to get to yoga class on time.

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After my wife had a stressful day at work, I drew her a bath.

She wasn’t content. I’m so upset, I even used color pencils for this.

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If you’re stressed, try ironing clothes.

It’s a great way to let off some steam.

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When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.

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A man sitting at a bar after work shares with the bartender why he is looking so stressed, β€œI’m not sleeping well. I have nightmares about a monster under my bed, and I am too embarrassed to seek help.”

A patron nearby overhears this and introduces himself, β€œI overheard your story, and I am a psychiatrist. Maybe I can help. The first thing is you recognize these are only dreams, and that is obvious, so I should be able to help you in a few sessions. Here’s my card, give me a call.”

A few weeks pass and the same two are once again at the bar after work.

The psychiatrist says to the other guy, β€œHi, how goes the nightmares? I never heard from you, so I hope you are doing okay.”

The other guy says, β€œThings are great, the bartender helped me.”

Psychiatrist, β€œThe bartender helped you? You needed a trained professional to help you, what possibly could a bartender do that a psychiatrist couldn’t?”

The other guy says, β€œHe told me to saw the legs off my bed.”

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What is the proper way to use a stress ball at work?

To throw it at the last person that upset you. Instant de-stress.

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