Squirrel Jokes



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Squirrel Jokes


A father and son went hunting together for the first time.

The father said, β€œStay here and be very quiet. I’ll be across the field.”

A few minutes later, the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son.

β€œWhat’s wrong?” the father asked. β€œI told you to be quiet.”

The son answered, β€œLook, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. But when the two squirrels crawled up my pant legs and said β€œShould we eat them here or take them with us?” I guess I just panicked.”

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What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?

An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.

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Why don’t squirrels have any friends?

Because they drive everyone nuts.

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I just saw a squirrel bury a nut in my back yard.

I’m going to dig it up and replace it with a chocolate bar.

That’ll blow his mind.

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I wanted to catch a squirrel but I didn’t know how.

So I decided to climb a tree and act like a nut.

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Why do squirrels swim on their backs?

To keep their nuts dry.

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What did the squirrel say on Labor Day weekend?

β€œTime to get nutty!”

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It was so cold that the squirrels in the park were throwing themselves at an electric fence!

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It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with pot holders.

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