Enjoy our team's carefully selected Spain Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Some years ago, a small rural town in Spain twinned with a similar town in Greece.
The mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town.
When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor, he wondered how he could afford such a house.
The Spaniard said, “You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to build a two-lane bridge, but by building a single-lane bridge with traffic lights at either end, this house could be built.”
The following year, the Spaniard visited the Greek town. He was simply amazed at the Greek mayor’s house: gold taps, marble floors—it was marvelous.
When he asked how this could be afforded, the Greek said, “You see that bridge over there?”
The Spaniard replied, “No.”
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What moisturizer do Spanish bullfighters use?
OLAY.
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Why did the Spanish Inquisition yank out people’s molars?
Because they wanted the tooth, the whole truth, so help them God.
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I’ve finally worked out why Spain is so good at football.
Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
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Once, there was a man who came from Spain to America.
He couldn’t speak English, so he went to a choir and learned how to say, “Me me me me me me.”
Then he went to the store and saw a little girl say, “He stole my dolly.”
On his way home, he went to get meat from the butcher and learned how to say, “Big butcher knife, big butcher knife.”
Then he went home and watched an air freshener commercial and learned how to say, “Plug it in, plug it in.”
Later, he went to the store, and there was a murder.
The police said, “Who killed this man?”
The foreigner said, “Me me me me me me.”
The police said, “Why did you kill him?”
The man said, “He stole my dolly.”
The policeman said, “What did you kill him with?”
The man said, “Big butcher knife, big butcher knife.”
Then they took him to jail and sentenced him to death.
The policeman said, “Any last words?”
The foreigner said, “Plug it in, plug it in.”
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My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year, and he still can’t say the word “please”.
Which I think is poor for four.
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So I asked my Spanish friend if he knew where fish lived.
He said, “Si.”
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What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?
Quatro sinko.
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What do Spanish phantoms say when they like something?
Me ghosta.
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Did you hear about the Spanish woman who is now a man?
He’s called Senor Rita.
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In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls.
But the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Spain.”
“Spain, who?”
“Spain to have to keep knocking on this door!”
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Chuck Norris speaks English, French, Spanish, Italian, and Portuguese.
At the same time in every sentence.
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A man from Peru decided to visit America, although he spoke no English.
Upon reaching it, one of the first things he did was go into a department store.
He found his way to the menswear department, where a young lady offered to help him.
“Quiero calcetines (I want socks),” said the man.
“I don’t speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here,” said the salesgirl.
“No, no quiero trajes, quiero calcetines (No, I don’t want suits, I want socks),” said the man.
“Well, these shirts are on sale this week,” declared the salesgirl.
“No, no quiero camisas, quiero calcetines (No, I don’t want shirts, I want socks),” repeated the man.
“I still don’t know what you’re trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack,” offered the salesgirl.
“No, no quiero pantalones, quiero calcetines (No, I don’t want pants, I want socks),” insisted the man.
As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair.
Holding them up, he proclaimed, “Eso sí que es (Now that’s it)!”
“Then why didn’t you just spell it in the first place?!” yelled the salesgirl.
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What is sun-bathing called in northern Spain?
Basqueing.
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Roland, an Englishman went to Spain on a fishing trip.
While there, Roland hired a Spanish guide to help him find the best fishing spots. Since Roland was learning Spanish, he asked the guide to speak to him in Spanish and to correct any mistakes of usage.
Together they were hiking on a mountain trail when a very large, purple and blue fly crossed their path.
The Englishmen pointed at the insect with his fishing rod, and announced, “Mira el mosca.”
The guide, sensing a teaching opportunity to teach Roland, replied, “No, senor, “la mosca”, es feminina.”
Roland looked at him in amazement, then back at the fly, and then said, “Good heavens... you must have incredibly good eyesight.”
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