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Space Puns and Hilarious Space Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Space Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Space Jokes


Why did all the planets give the most attention to the sun?

Because the sun is the center of the universe.

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What did Neptune say to Pluto when they fought?

Comet me, bro.

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Why did Pluto have to go to the dentist?

Because he spotted some black holes.

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Why was it difficult for planets to play golf?

They spotted many black holes.

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How do planets pay each other?

With star bucks.

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What did the planets drink when they wanted to bulk up?

Milky Whey.

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Why is everyone on Mars considered a communist?

Because they live on the red planet.

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Why is it most dangerous to go near Mercury?

Because one might die of mercury poisoning.

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Why do people on Earth like the way the planet rotates?

Because it makes their day.

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Why was Jupiter disqualified from the race between the planets?

He was caught taking asteroids.

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What is Planet Earth’s favorite dance move?

The moonwalk.

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Why are astronauts difficult to talk to?

Because they are not down to earth.

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Where do all planets go for their higher education?

To the universe-ity.

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Which planet is the richest of them all?

Saturn, because it has many rings.

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What did Mars say to Earth?

Get out of my space!

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What is a planet’s favorite gum?

Orbit.

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What did Earth say to the other planets?

Get a life!

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Why is Mercury the cleverest planet?

Because it has the most degrees!

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I met Buzz Aldrin once and asked how he felt being the second man on the moon.

β€œWell,” he said, β€œit could have been anyone. Right up until we landed, we hadn’t decided who would be first out the door. Then, once we touched down, Neil suggested we toss for it.”

β€œAnd he won?” I said.

β€œWell, no,” he mumbled. β€œThe coin was still in the air when Neil jumped down the ladder. The twat.”

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Why do wolves howl at the moon?

Cause they don’t know how to use cell phones.

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Did you hear they found a pushpin on the largest moon of Saturn?

That’s right.

A tac on Titan.

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How do know there’s no hair on the moon?

The moon waxes 14 times a month!

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The Earth and the Moon were talking.

Earth: β€œMoon, how are you?”

Moon: ...

Earth: β€œMoon! Are you okay??”

Moon: β€œWhat? Sorry I was miles away.”

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What does Michael Jackson have in common with NASA?

It’s been decades since their first moonwalk.

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What was the name of the first satellite to orbit the Earth?

The moon.

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Why did the cow jump over the Harvest Moon?

Because the farmer had cold hands!

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Why is an alien like a collection of famous actors’ autographs?

They’ve both come from the stars.

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What do you get if you cross a martian with a golf score?

A little green bogey.

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What do you get if you cross an ex-Popstar with an extra-terrestrial?

Kym Martian.

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Did you hear about the alien who flew a spaceship from Neptune to Uranus in just 3 minutes and 21 seconds?

He’s listed in the Guinness Book Of Out-Of-This-World Records.

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What do you call a spaceship with a faulty air-conditioning unit?

A frying saucer!

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What do you call an alien that lives in a bog?

A marsh-in!

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What do you get when you cross an alien and something white and fluffy?

A martian-mallow!

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Why were there only 18 letters in the alphabet?

Because E.T. flew off in a UFO, and the CIA chased after him!

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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.

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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I’m all spaced out!

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Why did the alien throw beef on the asteroid?

He wanted it a little meteor!

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What do you give an alien?

Some space!

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What do you call an alien with three eyes?

An aliiien!

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What did the alien say to the flower bed?

Take me to your weeder!

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What do you call alien eggs?

Eggstra-terrestrials!

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What’s an alien’s favorite treat?

Martian-mallows!

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Why do aliens always spill their tea?

Because they have flying saucers!

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What kind of songs do aliens listen to?

Neptunes!

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What do aliens like to read?

Comet books!

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How do aliens pay for coffee?

They use star bucks!

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Why did the alien go off in his ship?

He needed some space

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What do aliens like to eat?

Unidentified frying objects!

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Why did the alien think the spaceship was so good?

It was out of this world!

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What did the alien think of the anti-gravity book?

He couldn’t put it down!

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A blonde works in a petrol station filling up cars.

One day, a spaceship with β€œUFO” written on the side lands next to the blonde. The blonde cheerfully fills it with fuel and the spaceship flies off.

The blonde’s boss, shocked, comes out to ask why she filled it up.

β€œDo you know what β€œUFO” stands for?” He asks.

β€œOf course.” She replies, β€œUnleaded Fuel Only.”

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What’s the difference between UFOs and an honest politician?

It is possible that UFOs exist.

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I have never seen a UFO before.

Because I’m always able to correctly identify the flying object.

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Person 1: β€œHey! I see a UFO up there in the sky take a picture now!”

Person 2: β€œWait, I have to get the worst camera I have.”

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what did the ufo denier say when shown undeniable video proof of alien spaceships and was even told that one of those spaceships houses the leader of the universe?

β€œWhich craft?”

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What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

There have been sightings of UFOs.

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If Trump was notified of an alien invasion.

β€œThere’s an alien spacecraft but it’s not on course to earth.”

β€œOur specialists, they’re very special people, have concluded that this is just an alien spaceship making a simple flyby our solar system.”

β€œThe alien ship is getting close to our American soil but there is nothing to worry about.”

β€œThe aliens have landed off the coast of Florida but there is nothing to worry about, they’re just tourists.”

β€œToo many aliens are crossing our borders, we need to build a wall and make them pay for it and we WILL make them pay for it.”

β€œThe aliens are eating our Americans, but don’t worry, they’ll eventually be stopped by our American armed forces in no time. You guys know a lot about aliens, right?”

β€œThere are aliens outside of the white house but they’ll go away soon. We have riot police keeping everything under control.”

β€œThe aliens have entered the white house, but don’t worry, we will negotiate something, and then everything will be back to normal.”

...

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What do you call it when a alien bust a nut?

A starburst.

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What’s the difference between E.T. and an illegal alien?

E.T. learned English and wanted to go home.

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An astronaut and an alien walk into a bar...

S p a c e b a r.

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Yesterday I was talking to an alien from space. Turns out they eat radio active materials.

I ask it what its favorite meal was.

It told me:

β€œFission chips.”

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In honor of Area 51, what do you call too many aliens in one place?

Extra terrestrials.

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Aliens: β€œWe’ve come to destroy the Earth.”

Greta: β€œIt’s a bit late, right?”

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I don’t know why people expect to find aliens in Area 51.

Trump would have deported them by now!

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Are aliens from invasion movies actually British?

Because all they do is colonize.

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What did the space alien tell Franz Schubert?

β€œTake me to your Lieder!”

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An astronaut is the first to step onto an alien planet.

The aliens are so excited that they change all their signs to English, and even rename some of their places and landmarks after Human places and landmarks and things.

The astronaut decides the first place he wants to go is a pub.

He sees a nearby alien and asks, β€œWhere’s the pub?”

The alien gurgles back, but his suit translates to the astronaut in real time. The alien says, β€œJust around the corner.”

The astronaut heads around the corner and sees it.

It’s labeled β€œThe Keyboard” and he asks the bouncer, β€œWhy is it called the Keyboard?”

The bouncer replies, β€œThe boss loves all things human and changed his name to reflect that. Ask him, he’s the bartender.”

So the astronaut enters the Keyboard and goes to the bartender.

β€œExcuse me, do you own this pub?” the astronaut says.

β€œI do,” the bartender gurgles back.

β€œWhy is it called the Keyboard?” the man asks.

β€œWell,” the alien gurgles in reply, β€œsince I knew you humans were coming I updated the name...”

The astronaut is on the edge of his seat.

β€œ...The reason it’s called the Keyboard is because it’s a space bar.”

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Men in black.

After years of serving MIB, agent K, 69, found himself too old to deal with an alien drug lord.

He decided to seek help from his younger self.

Why did he travel to sixty years ago?

K, 9.

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What would you hear at a very long opera about aliens?

Aria 51.

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An Alien visited the Solar system and ate Jupiter.

When asked how it was the Alien replied simply:

β€œGastronomical.”

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What do aliens call an American who couldn’t cross the road?

A flat earther.

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Some aliens in a flying saucer offered to fly me to the moon.

But they wouldn’t let us land because the moon was full.

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I told my wife I’d never leave her unless aliens came to take me.

It has taken 30 years but I finally have enough for Industrial Light and Magic to do an alien abduction scene.

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How do redneck aliens abduct people?

Tractor beam.

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What did the IKEA dresser say to the aliens after landing on their planet?

I come in pieces.

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An alien drops by the White House and exclaims, β€œTake me to your leader.”

The alien is introduced to Donald Trump, who ushers it into the oval office to chat. 30 seconds later, the alien exits the room and walks back towards his ship.

β€œWhere are you going?! Our worlds have so much to discuss and learn from one another!” calls a Senator.

β€œYou are right,” responds the alien.

β€œSee you on Thursday!”

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After hundreds of years of speculation, aliens have finally contacted earth.

They prepare a simultaneous broadcast to all humans to give us their message:

β€œHello, people of Earth! We have been trying to reach you about your planet’s extended warranty.”

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An alien spacecraft lands in a rice paddy in rural Japan and out comes a silver-suited alien, who floats over to an old rice farmer standing in amazement.

β€œHuman creature,” the alien bellows, β€œwe last visited your planet a hundred thousand of your earth years ago. Tell us how you have evolved since then.”

The old man recovers himself, thinks for a moment and says, β€œWell, way back a long time ago, we were a crude bunch, no doubt. We’d take any old stick and walk down to the seashore, looking for something to eat. When we saw something, stab out came the stick, right through the fish or crab or urchin or whatever, and we’d eat it right off the stick.”

β€œThat is truly a primitive state and in accordance with our records. But how have you evolved?”

β€œOh, nowadays we use two sticks.”

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An alien lands today, Nov. 4, 2020.

Alien: β€œTake me to your leader.”

Me: β€œYou’re going to have to wait 10-12 business days for us to sort that out.”

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A lot of people think Crop Circles are done by alien aircraft...

I think they’re done by Cereal Killers.

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What do aliens spread on their toast?

Space jam.

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How do you get a baby alien to sleep?

You rocket!

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What do you call an alien with no eyes?

Alen.

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I got abducted by aliens...

I was told to do my all chores, eat my veggies, take a shower and brush my teeth.

It was then I realized I was in the mother ship.

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What did the alien paramedic say when he first arrived on Earth?

β€œTake me to your bleeder.”

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Why do we call the aliens creating the pyramids a conspiracy theory?

It’s obviously a pyramid scheme.

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I just found bacteria growing on my chocolate bar.

I guess there is life on Mars after all.

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What is an astronaut’s favorite chocolate?

A Mars bar.

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Why did the astronaut grow a beard in space?

He wanted spacial hair.

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Buzz Aldrin is a man who demands respect.

I saw him speak a while ago and he said, β€œI’m the second guy to walk on the moon...”

β€œNeil before me.”

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What did officials say after budget cuts forced them to cancel the last few moon missions?

We APOLLO-gize!

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I told my Dr. I only smoke once every blue moon...

The problem is my refrigerator is full of them.

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When the cow jumped over the moon...

Never have the steaks been so high.

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My kids recently been super obsessed with the moon and my wife is starting to get worried.

I told her not to worry, it’s only a phase.

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I promised my new girlfriend the sun, the moon and the stars...

So, I took her to the planetarium.

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Astronomers got tired watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours.

They decided to call it a day.

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What did the dad say to his son when he became afraid of the full moon?

β€œDon’t worry! It’s just a phase it’s going through!”

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The moon is full tonight, do you think he eats too much?

No, it’s just a phase.

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Did you know they found water on the moon?

But only when it’s waning

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I was going to the moon on vacation and I read it gets to -280 degrees at night.

I might need a space heater.

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I suspect the moon wasn’t hungry last night.

It looked full.

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Went to a party on the moon once.

Didn’t really like it, no atmosphere.

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The reason that no one has returned to the moon for so long is that every time someone tries to book a hotel there, it’s full...

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What do you get when you take a green cheese on the moon and divide its circumference by its diameter?

Moon pi.

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How does one astronaut on the moon tell another astronaut that he is sorry?

He apollo-gises.

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Mooning is very ASStrological.

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Living costs on the moon would probably be out of this world.

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What do you think walking on the moon is like?

Not very impactful.

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Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.

Damn lunatics!

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Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night.

He’s over the moon!

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What do you call a person really crazy about the moon?

A lunatic.

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How does a quarter moon always feel?

Crestfallen.

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Why didn’t the moon go outside?

Because it was waning.

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Why is the moon a wanted criminal?

It’s constantly mooning people.

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Who is the first farmer to walk on the moon?

Neil Farmstrong.

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How does the sun say hi to the moon?

With a heat wave!

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What kind of tropical fruit wants to visit the moon?

A Coco-naut.

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Libya changed its plain green flag to a crescent moon, but I think they’ll change it back.

It’s only a phase, after all.

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Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?

Because it was full!

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What do you use to hold things on the moon?

Crate-rs.

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What do you call a crazy moon?

Lunacy.

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What do you call a lazy man in space?

A procrastronaut.

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Why did the astronaut break up with her boyfriend?

Because she needed some space.

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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

To find Pluto.

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Why don’t people like going to the moon?

It has no atmosphere.

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Why couldn’t the moon eat anymore?

It was a full moon.

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Why did the moon burp?

Because it was full!

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Why is the moon so hungry?

Because it’s only full once a month!

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!

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What did the Moon say to Saturn?

Give me a ring sometime!

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What board game do they love to play in space?

Moon-opoly!

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If they used money in space, guess what it would be called?

Starbucks!

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Yo mama so hairy, when she auditioned for Planet of the Apes, they made her pack leader.

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My kids are the sunshine of my life.

Over-exposition invariably leads to a burn out.

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I’ll never forget this solar eclipse, it’ll forever be seared into my mind...

...and retinas. I really should’ve worn some glasses.

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What would be the first thing communists do if they ruled the solar system?

Rename Uranus to Ouranus.

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I really wish someone would have told me how long this solar eclipse was going to take.

Don’t get me wrong, I had been enjoying watching it, but had I known it would still be going on for this long, I would have bought a pair of those fancy NASA glasses.

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You can look at the solar eclipse directly.

Once with your left eye, once with your right eye.

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NASA sent a probe to all of the planets in our solar system but quit after Uranus...

They found it to be a poophole.

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What’s a vegan’s favorite non-terrestrial moon in the solar system?

En-salad-us.

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Ganymede left Jupiter and flew out of the solar system last week.

I saw it today in the orbituaries.

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Saturn and Neptune are the butt cheeks of the solar system.

Uranus is between them.

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There’s a contest going around and if you win 1st place you get a whole solar system named after you.

Second place is just a constellation prize.

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I asked my German friend how many planets are in our Solar System.

Surprisingly he said, β€œNine.”

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Did you know that all the planets in the solar system are named after a god?

Except earth, which is named after all that stuff on the ground.

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August 20, 2020:

Scientists have discovered a β€œmystery object” in space. The object is equal to 2.6 solar masses.

March 1, 2021 (Update):

Scientists have determined that the β€œmystery object” is made up of unmatched socks.

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I think Saturn’s name is the best in our solar system.

It has a nice ring to it.

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How does the solar system keep its pants from falling down?

It uses an asteroid belt.

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Why haven’t aliens visited our Solar System yet?

They looked at the reviews... only 1 star.

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What would the sun say if he had a wife?

You are my sol-mate.

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Why did the sun feel so dizzy?

Because he felt light-headed.

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What are the sun’s favorite chocolate bars?

A Milky Way or a Mars Bar.

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Why is the sun such an egomaniac?

He believes that everything revolves around him.

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What does nitrogen become when the sun comes up?

Daytrogen.

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What kind of eclipse is it when the sun moves in front of the moon?

An Apocaclipse.

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Did you hear about the snowman who got angry when the sun came out?

He had a total meltdown.

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Son: β€œDad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”

Dad: β€œNo sun.”

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Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...

And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.

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Memo from Director-General to Manager:

Today at 11 o’clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes.

As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the car park.

Staff should meet in the car park at ten to eleven when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse and giving some background information.

Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.

Memo from Manager to Department Head:

Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will disappear for two minutes.

For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles.

The Director-General will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some background information. This is not something that can be seen every day.

Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager:

The Director-General will today deliver a short speech to make the sun disappear for two minutes in the eclipse.

This is something that can not be seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven.

This will be safe if you pay a moderate cost.

Memo From Floor Manager to Supervisor:

Ten or eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the Director-General will eclipse the sun for two minutes.

This doesn’t happen every day. It will be safe, but it will cost you.

Memo from Supervisor to staff:

Some staff will go to the car park today to see the Director-General disappear.

It is a pity this doesn’t happen every day.

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What do you call a female horse that refuses to work while the sun is up?

A Nightmare!

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Bread is like the Sun:

It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.

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How do astronauts eat their ice creams?

In floats.

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Living on Earth might be expensive, but at least you get a free trip around the Sun every year.

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What does the sun drink out of?

Sun-glasses.

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How much is the moon worth?

One dollar, because it has four quarters.

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What dance do all astronauts know?

The moonwalk.

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Wanna know a way for werewolves to howl other than the full moon?

Make them stub their toe.

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Why does nobody trust the man on the moon?

He has a dark side.

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Why did Ms. Moon split up with Mr. Sun?

He never wanted to go out with her at night.

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Which is older, the moon or the sun?

The moon, because it can stay out all night.

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If Martians live on Mars and Venusians live on Venus, who lives on Pluto?

Fleas.

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One alien says to another, β€œThe dominant life forms on the planet earth appear to have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons.”

The second alien replies, β€œAre they an emerging intelligence?”

The first alien says, β€œI don’t think so, they have them aimed at themselves.”

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Yo mama is so hot, she makes the sun sweat.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip.

After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

β€œWatson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, β€œI see millions of stars.”

β€œWhat does that tell you?”

Watson pondered for a minute.

β€œAstronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke:

β€œWatson, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent!”

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Earth is the third planet from the sun.

By this logic, all countries are third-world countries.

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What's the sequel to Mario Sunshine?

Mario Sunburnt!

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β€œI wanna be the sun of your life!”

β€œThen stay at 1 000 000 km of me!”

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What happens to pigs when they stay in the sun too long?

Turn into bacon.

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After the Americans went to the Moon, Murphy and Declan announced that the Kerry Men would go one better and send a man to the Sun.

Murphy objected, β€œIf you send a man to the Sun, he will burn up!”

β€œWhat do you think we are, stupid?” Declan replied, β€œWe’ll send our

man at night!”

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We really should look into colonizing Mars and other planets or moons.

If you look at the studies, 100% of deaths occur here on earth.

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Vladimir Putin has boasted that Russia is planning to build a base on the moon. The idea is that astronauts will live there permanently.

When they were asked if they really wanted to spend the rest of their lives in a barren, lifeless, empty landscape, the Russians said:

β€œNo. That’s why we want to go to the moon.”

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One Sunny afternoon, two blondes walk down the street.

One of them suddenly points at the sun and says: β€œLook! That’s the moon over there!”

The other one says: β€œNo, that’s the sun!”

The first one: β€œNo, it’s the moon!”

The other one, again: β€œNo, it’s the sun!”

After arguing for a while, the β€œsmart” one says: β€œLet’s go to that house over there and ask, what’s right!”

They go to the house and ring the doorbell. Another blonde opens the door.

The β€œsmart” one asks: β€œExcuse us, can you tell us, whether it’s the sun or the moon in the sky?”

The blonde looks and says: β€œI wouldn’t know! I’ve only been living here for two weeks!”

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Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life.

She asks him: β€œLittle Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?”

He: β€œLike the moon.”

The teacher: β€œThat’s such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful”.

Little Johnny: β€œNo, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning.”

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Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?

He wanted to go where no man had gone before.

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Why is the moon constantly moody?

She’s just going through a phase.

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What insect comes from the moon?

A Luna Tick!

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What is the first day of the week called in outer space?

Moon-day!

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Yo mama is so hot, she makes the sun look like Antarctica.

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Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon?

It had great food, but no atmosphere.

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