Enjoy our team's carefully selected Space Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Living on Earth might be expensive, but at least you get a free trip around the Sun every year.
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What does the sun drink out of?
Sun-glasses.
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How much is the moon worth?
One dollar, because it has four quarters.
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What dance do all astronauts know?
The moonwalk.
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Wanna know a way for werewolves to howl other than the full moon? Make them stub their toe.
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Why does nobody trust the man on the moon?
He has a dark side.
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Why did Ms. Moon split up with Mr. Sun?
He never wanted to go out with her at night.
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Which is older, the moon or the sun?
The moon, because it can stay out all night.
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If Martians live on Mars and Venusians live on Venus, who lives on Pluto?
Fleas.
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One alien says to another, “The dominant life forms on the planet earth appear to have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons.”
The second alien replies, “Are they an emerging intelligence?”
The first alien says, “I don’t think so, they have them aimed at themselves.”
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Why do aliens not like visiting earth very often?
Because it is rated only one star.
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Yo mama is so hot, she makes the sun sweat.
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip.
After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.”
“What does that tell you?”
Watson pondered for a minute.
“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke:
“Watson, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent!”
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Earth is the third planet from the sun.
By this logic, all countries are third world countries.
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What's the sequel to Mario Sunshine?
Mario Sunburnt!
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I wanna be the sun of your life!
Then stay at 1 000 000 km of me!
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What happens to pigs when they stay in the sun too long?
Turn into bacon.
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After the Americans went to the Moon, Murphy and Declan announced that the Kerry Men would go one better and send a man to the Sun.
Murphy objected, “If you send a man to the Sun, he will burn up!”
“What do you think we are, stupid?” Declan replied, “We’ll send our
man at night!”
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Why haven’t they sent a woman to the moon?
Because it doesn’t need cleaning!
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We really should look into colonizing Mars and other planets or moons. If you look at the studies, 100% of deaths occur here on earth.
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Vladimir Putin has boasted that Russia is planning to build a base on the moon. The idea is that astronauts will live there permanently.
When they were asked if they really wanted to spend the rest of their lives in a barren, lifeless, empty landscape, the Russians said:
“No. That’s why we want to go to the moon.”
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One Sunny afternoon, two blondes walk down the street.
One of them suddenly points at the sun and says: “Look! That’s the moon over there!”
The other one says: “No, that’s the sun!”
The first one: “No, it’s the moon!”
The other one, again: “No, it’s the sun!”
After arguing for a while, the “smart” one says: “Let’s go to that house over there and ask, what’s right!”
They go to the house and ring the doorbell. Another blonde opens the door.
The “smart” one asks: “Excuse us, can you tell us, whether it’s the sun or the moon in the sky?”
The blonde looks and says: “I wouldn’t know! I’ve only been living here for two weeks!”
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Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life.
She asks him: “Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?”
He: “Like the moon.”
The teacher: “That’s such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful”.
Little johnny: “No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning.”
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Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
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Why is the moon constantly moody?
She’s just going through a phase.
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What insect comes from the moon?
A Luna Tick!
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What is the first day of the week called in outer space?
Moon-day!
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Yo mama is so hot, she makes the sun look like Antarctica.
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Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon?
It had great food, but no atmosphere.
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