Soccer Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Soccer Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Soccer Jokes


I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.

What a messi guy.

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A cargo airplane is transporting patients from a mental hospital.

The patients are going all crazy in the cargo, playing a soccer with an invisible ball.

The pilot has had enough of it, tells the copilot to guide the plane, and goes in the back to make them stop the noise.

They stop, the pilot returns to the cabin, but after 5 minutes, it starts all over again.

The pilot asks the copilot to give it a shot at calming the patients down.

The copilot goes in the back, the noise stops, and he returns to the cabin.

Half an hour later, the plane is quiet.

The pilot is impressed and asks the copilot how he did it.

The copilot replies, β€œI told them: Soccer is not allowed indoors. You have to take it outside.”

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Wife says to her husband: β€œChoose, either me or the soccer game!”

He responds: β€œGive me 90 minutes to think.”

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Two flies are playing soccer on a plate.

One says to the other, β€œYou’d better pick up your game, Louie, we’re playing in the cup tomorrow.”

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I’m thinking of taking up acting.

Does anyone know of a local soccer league I could join?

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My son played soccer in the mud all day.

He was a little Messi.

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Three soccer playersβ€”one plays for Manchester United, one for Liverpool and one for Arsenalβ€”are lost in the desert.

They come across a dead camel and are having trouble deciding who gets what.

So the guy from Manchester says, β€œWell, since I’m from ManCHESTer, I’ll get the chest.

The player from Liverpool goes, β€œWell, in that case I'll eat the liver.

Then guy from ARSEnal says, β€œI’m not hungry...”

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