Snow Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Snow Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Snow Jokes


What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice caps.

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Edward Snowden was discovered trapped inside of one of his ski lodges this Saturday, November 19th.

β€œEdward Snowden Snowed in Snowden Snow Den”

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What’s a good winter tip?

Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.

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Why did the boy only wear one snow boot?

There was only a 50% chance of snow.

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What do you call an aboriginal rolling down a hill?

Abolanche.

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Why are friends a lot like snow?

If you pee on them, they disappear.

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I was cycling to work when a snow plow suddenly overtook me at high speed, spreading salt which hit my face.

β€œBASTARD!” I shouted, through gritted teeth.

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How do snowmen get around?

They ride an icicle.

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What happens if you combine a vampire and a snowman?

You get frostbite.

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It’s so cold, I farted snowflakes.

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One snowman said to another, β€œI’d heard that carrots are very good for your eyes, but all I can see are carrots...”

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What a morning...

8:00 I made a snowman.

8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snowwoman.

8:15 I made a snowwoman.

8:17 The nanny of the neighbors complained about the snowwoman’s voluptuous chest.

8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two snowmen instead.

8:25 The vegans at No. 12 complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 The Muslim gent across the road wants the snowwoman to wear a headscarf.

8:40 Someone calls the cops who show up to see what’s going on.

8:42 I am told the broomstick of the snowman needs to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon. Things get worse after I mutter, β€œYeah, if it’s up your...”

8:52 My phone is seized and thoroughly checked while I am blindfolded and flown to the police station in a helicopter.

9:00 I’m on the news as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble at this sensitive time.

9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices.

9:29 ISIS just claimed responsibility...

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What do you call an old snowman?

Water.

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Why was the snowman looking through a pile of carrots?

He was picking his nose.

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One snowman asks another, β€œHow do you stay in such good shape?”

He answers, β€œAll I do is set the hairdryer on high heat and pounds just melt away.”

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What do you call a snowman made of yellow snow?

The β€œinedible snowman”.

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Which is harder to make? A blonde, brunette or a red-headed snowman?

A blonde, because you have to hollow out its head.

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What happens when you drop a snowball in water?

It gets wet.

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What do you say to a stressed snowman?

Chill out!

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What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?

Snowballs.

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What do you call a snowman in summer?

A puddle.

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What do snowmen do in summer?

Chillout.

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Did you hear about the snowman who got angry when the sun came out?

He had a total meltdown.

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What did the snowman say to the birthday girl?

Have an ice day!

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When is it acceptable for a nose to be in a salad?

When it’s a snowman’s nose!

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Snowmen like carrot cake because it tastes like boogers.

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