Jokes About Snakes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Snake Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Snake Jokes

What do you call an important English snake?

Sir Pent.

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I’ve just finished writing a book on snakes.

It would have been much easier if I’d just written in on paper...

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Chuck Norris was once bitten by a cobra snake.

After 3 long days of suffering, the snake died.

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Two snakes are slithering down the road and chatting.

Snake 1: β€œOh, boy. I hope I’m not venomous...”

Snake 2: β€œWait, what? Why?”

Snake 1: β€œBecause I just bit my tongue.”

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What’s worse than a box full of snakes?

A box that was SUPPOSED to be full of snakes.

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I advertised a python for sale in the paper.

A man rang up and said, β€œWhat size is it?”

I replied, β€œIt’s quite big.”

β€œHow many feet?” he asked.

β€œNone, it’s a snake...”

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I failed my python breeding class because of a late assignment.

My homework ate my dog.

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What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?

A pi-thon.

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As the animals left the ark, Noah told them to go forth and multiply.

After some time, Noah came upon two snakes who were just lying there sunning themselves...

So Noah asked them, β€œWhy aren’t you multiplying?”

The snakes replied, β€œWe can’t, we’re adders.”

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A cowboy went to a chiropractor complaining of back trouble.

The Doc looked him over and could see he’d suffered some rough life.

β€œHave you been in any accidents lately?” he asked.

The cowboy thought about it for a moment, β€œNo, no real accidents, I guess. Well, I been kicked by a mule last week, yesterday I got throwed by my mustang and last month a got bit by a snake.”

β€œYou don’t call those accidents?” said the doctor with incredulity.

β€œNah. Pretty sure they meant to do it on purpose.”

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It’s a good thing snakes and dogs don’t interbreed.

Nobody wants a loyal snake.

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