Jokes About Snakes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Snake Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Snake Jokes

Iโ€™ve just finished writing a book on snakes.

It would have been much easier if Iโ€™d just written in on paper...

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Chuck Norris was once bitten by a cobra snake.

After 3 long days of suffering, the snake died.

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Two snakes are slithering down the road and chatting.

Snake 1: โ€œOh, boy. I hope Iโ€™m not venomous...โ€

Snake 2: โ€œWait, what? Why?โ€

Snake 1: โ€œBecause I just bit my tongue.โ€

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Whatโ€™s worse than a box full of snakes?

A box that was SUPPOSED to be full of snakes.

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I advertised a python for sale in the paper.

A man rang up and said, โ€œWhat size is it?โ€

I replied, โ€œItโ€™s quite big.โ€

โ€œHow many feet?โ€ he asked.

โ€œNone, itโ€™s a snake...โ€

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I failed my python breeding class because of a late assignment.

My homework ate my dog.

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What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?

A pi-thon.

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As the animals left the ark, Noah told them to go forth and multiply.

After some time, Noah came upon two snakes who were just lying there sunning themselves...

So Noah asked them, โ€œWhy arenโ€™t you multiplying?โ€

The snakes replied, โ€œWe canโ€™t, weโ€™re adders.โ€

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A cowboy went to a chiropractor complaining of back trouble.

The Doc looked him over and could see heโ€™d suffered some rough life.

โ€œHave you been in any accidents lately?โ€ he asked.

The cowboy thought about it for a moment, โ€œNo, no real accidents, I guess. Well, I been kicked by a mule last week, yesterday I got throwed by my mustang and last month a got bit by a snake.โ€

โ€œYou donโ€™t call those accidents?โ€ said the doctor with incredulity.

โ€œNah. Pretty sure they meant to do it on purpose.โ€

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Itโ€™s a good thing snakes and dogs donโ€™t interbreed.

Nobody wants a loyal snake.

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