Sloth Jokes



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Sloth Jokes


Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.

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My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears.

Looking back, it was obvious. He was always going on about those darn tree-huggers.

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I told my husband that the National Zoo’s sloth bear gave birth but ate two of the three babies.

He said, β€œNow she’s guilty of 2 deadly sins: sloth and gluttony.”

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A lion, a zebra, and a sloth walk into a gym.

The personal trainer approaches them and asks, β€œWhat are your fitness goals?”

The lion replies, β€œI want to improve my speed and agility for hunting.”

The zebra says, β€œI’d like to work on my endurance to outrun predators.”

The sloth sighs, β€œI just need to learn to hang in there.”

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A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day.

A gang of snails approaches him and beats him up.

Herman is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises. Several hours later he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station.

Herman walks into the Sergeant’s office.

β€œWhat happened to you? the officer asks.

β€œA gang of snails beat me up,” Herman replied.

β€œCan you describe what they looked like?”

β€œI don’t know,” the sloth says. β€œIt all happened so fast.”

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How do you call a series of killings committed by a sloth?

Slothterings.

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What kind of exercise do sloths do?

Waitlifting.

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What is a sloth’s favorite form of exercise?

Running late.

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