Sloth Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Sloth Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Sloth Jokes

Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.

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My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears.

Looking back, it was obvious. He was always going on about those darn tree-huggers.

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I told my husband that the National Zoo’s sloth bear gave birth but ate two of the three babies.

He said, β€œNow she’s guilty of 2 deadly sins: sloth and gluttony.”

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A lion, a zebra, and a sloth walk into a gym.

The personal trainer approaches them and asks, β€œWhat are your fitness goals?”

The lion replies, β€œI want to improve my speed and agility for hunting.”

The zebra says, β€œI’d like to work on my endurance to outrun predators.”

The sloth sighs, β€œI just need to learn to hang in there.”

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A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day.

A gang of snails approaches him and beats him up.

Herman is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises. Several hours later he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station.

Herman walks into the Sergeant’s office.

β€œWhat happened to you? the officer asks.

β€œA gang of snails beat me up,” Herman replied.

β€œCan you describe what they looked like?”

β€œI don’t know,” the sloth says. β€œIt all happened so fast.”

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How do you call a series of killings committed by a sloth?


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What kind of exercise do sloths do?


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What is a sloth’s favorite form of exercise?

Running late.

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