Sister Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Sister Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Sister Jokes


My sister was diagnosed as color-blind.

The revelation really came out of the blue.

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Yo sister so ugly her pillow cries at night.

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Your sister is so ugly when she sits on the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

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Your sister is so ugly when she was born your mom said, β€œWhat a treasure!”

And your dad said, β€œYes, let’s bury it.”

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Your sister is so ugly when she goes to the bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras.

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Yo sister so fat she has two watches, one for each time zone she’s in.

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Yo sister so fat that when she took a selfie, Instagram crashed.

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Your sister is so fat her Apple Watch is an iPad Pro on a rope.

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Yo sister so fat she’s the reason London Bridge is falling down.

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Yo sister so fat the only way she burns calories is when her food catches on fire.

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I saw my sister weeping uncontrollably, worried that her Economics degree wouldn’t land her a job.

I said, β€œAre you having a financial cry, sis?”

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A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit.

One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.

When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.

β€œWho are you?” he asked.

β€œI’m the Devil!” she responded.

β€œWell, come on home with me,” he said, β€œI married your sister.”

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My Sister works at a pharmacy.

As a pharmasister.

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My sister said I’m being immature.

I guess she isn’t getting her nose back.

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My 2 year old sister’s stinky feet were smelling like cheese.

My dad was wondering what happened, so I told him that she had chee-toes.

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My mom’s sister is good at cleaning stuff, especially any stinky laundry.

We call her a deodor-aunt.

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One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, β€œDad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan.”

After dinner, George’s dad took him aside, β€œSon, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, she’s a wonderful wife and mother, but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot.”

β€œSusan is actually your half-sister, and I’m afraid you can’t marry her.”

George was brokenhearted.

After eight months he eventually started dating girls again.

A year later he came home and very proudly announced, β€œDiane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”

Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news, β€œDiane is your half-sister too, George. I’m awfully sorry about this.”

George was livid! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news his father had shared.

β€œDad has done so much harm. I guess I’m never going to get married,” he complained. β€œEvery time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half-sister.”

β€œHee hee,” his mother chuckled, shaking her head, β€œDon’t pay any attention to what he says. He’s not really your father.”

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