Shark Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Shark Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Shark Jokes


Why don’t sharks like to eat blue whales?

Because they’re all blubber and no beef.

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Why didn’t the octopus fight the shark?

Because he was spineless.

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Why didn’t the shark want to fight the octopus?

Because he knew the octopus was well armed.

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What kind of fish works in a hospital?

Nurse shark.

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Did you know that geese kill more humans than sharks each year?

To be fair, it’s really hard for geese to kill sharks.

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If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks.

It cost me an arm and a leg.

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A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

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On a tour of Florida, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just off the shore.

A helpless man, wearing a Montreal Canadiens jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark.

As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men wearing New York Rangers’ jerseys aboard.Β 

One quickly fired a harpoon into the shark’s side, while the other two reached out and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Canadiens fan out of the water. Then, using baseball bats, the three heroes in blue beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat as well.

Immediately, the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach.

β€œI give you my blessing for your brave actions,” he told them. β€œI heard that there was some bitter hatred between Rangers and Canadiens fans, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not the truth.”

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies, β€œWho was that?”

β€œIt was the Pope,” one replied. β€œHe is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God’s wisdom.”

β€œWell,” the harpooner said, β€œhe may have access to God’s wisdom, but he knows nothing about shark fishing... How’s the bait holding up?”

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Your nose is so big that when you lie on your back in the pool, people think it’s a shark!

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