Senior Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Senior Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Senior Jokes

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctorโ€™s office.

โ€œIs it true,โ€ she wanted to know, โ€œthat the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?โ€

โ€œYes, Iโ€™m afraid so,โ€ the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, โ€œIโ€™m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked โ€˜NO REFILLSโ€™.โ€

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Senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto. They even have their own vocabulary:

BFF: Best Friend Fainted

BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth

CBM: Covered by Medicare

FWB: Friend with Beta-blockers

LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out

GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!

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Two old guys from a senior center were sipping lemonade on the porch when one asks the other, โ€œRalph, Iโ€™m 92 years old and even my aches have pains. You must be close to my age. How are you feeling?โ€

Ralph says, โ€œLike a brand-new baby.โ€

1st old guy: โ€œNo kidding! Like a brand-new baby?โ€

Ralph: โ€œYep. No teeth, no hair, and wet diapers.โ€

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A woman told her friend, โ€œI feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctorโ€™s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising.โ€

She said, โ€œSo, I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But by the time I got my leotards on, the class was already over.โ€

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Why donโ€™t retirees mind being called seniors?

The term comes with a 10 percent discount.

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