Scared Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Scared Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Scared Jokes


A boy calls 911.

โ€œ911, what is your emergency?โ€

The boy replied, โ€œMy parents are fighting, and Iโ€™m scared..โ€

โ€œWell, whoโ€™s your father?โ€

โ€œWell, thatโ€™s what theyโ€™re fighting about.โ€

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A guy in a plane stood up and shouted, โ€œHIJACK!โ€

All the passengers got scared.

From the other end of the plane, a guy shouted back, โ€œHI JOHN!โ€

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A mother sends her son to the well to fetch water.

When the boy comes back without water, he explains that there was an alligator in the well.

โ€œDonโ€™t worry,โ€ says the mother. โ€œThe alligator is just as scared of you as you are of him!โ€

โ€œMom,โ€ says the boy, โ€œif the alligator is as scared of me as I am of him, we shouldnโ€™t be drinking that water.โ€

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I shot my first Thanksgiving turkey this year.

Scared the hell out of everyone else in the grocery store.

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Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.

Right in the middle of the cemetery, they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.

Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

โ€œHoly cow, Mister,โ€ one of them said after catching his breath, โ€œYou scared us half to deathโ€”we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?โ€

โ€œThose fools!โ€ the old man grumbled. โ€œThey misspelled my name!โ€

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Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...

And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.

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A pharmacist returns to his shop from lunch to find a man leaning against the wall.

โ€œWhatโ€™s wrong with him?โ€ He asks his assistant.

โ€œHe came in for some cough syrup,โ€ explains the assistant. โ€œBut I couldnโ€™t find any, so I sold him a bottle of laxatives instead.โ€

โ€œWhat!โ€ The pharmacist says, horrified. โ€œYou canโ€™t treat a cough with laxatives!โ€

โ€œOf course you can,โ€ the assistant declares. โ€œLook at him โ€“ heโ€™s far too scared to cough.โ€

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Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.

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Why was the Easter egg so scared of his father?

His father was hard-boiled.

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