Roofer Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Roofer Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Roofer Jokes

What is it that keeps roofing teams together?


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Why did the cool roofer stop hanging out with his friends?

He realized they were squares.

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Did you hear the one about the roofer with the perfect safety record?

He never had a shingle accident.

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Two Roofersโ€”Bob and Danโ€”were putting a new roof on a barn when a bundle of shingles slid down the slope and knocked the ladder over.

Bob and Dan decided that, since it was early, they would continue working because someone would surely come around by quitting time.

It was nearing 5 PM, and they hadnโ€™t seen hide nor hair of anyone.

So, they walked around the roof a few times and finally decided there was only one way down. On the West side of the barn was a big manure pile.

Bob says, โ€œItโ€™s the only way down. I will go first.โ€

Bob jumped.

Dan heard the squishy landing and yelled, โ€œHey Bob! How deep did you go?โ€

Bob yells back, โ€œI went to my ankles Dan, come on JUMP!โ€

Dan jumps... and sinks clear up to his neck in manure!

โ€œI thought when you jumped, you went up to your ankles?โ€ he shouts at his friend.

โ€œI did...โ€ explained Bob, โ€œbut I landed head first!โ€

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Why did the roofing company fire the roofer who went to the bathroom too often?

His waste factor was too high.

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Do you have solar panels on your home yet? I just had some put on. But Iโ€™m not sure if Iโ€™ll keep them.

The other day I was in my house and the computer and lights are flickering. So I did, what you would do, I went outside to check my new solar cells.

I get outside and look up at the roof, and there is a Gorilla messing with my solar panels.

I grabbed my phone and searched for what to do.

What luck! An ad for โ€œGorilla removalโ€.

I called the number and they said they were in the neighborhood and would be there in 5 minutes.

5 minutes later a white van showed up and as I approached the van this guy came around and opened the back van door. He pulled out a ladder, boxing gloves, a shotgun, and out jumped a little dog.

At this point, I asked the guy, โ€œHey whatโ€™s the plan?โ€

He said, โ€œWell, Iโ€™m going to put the ladder against the house, climb up on the roof, put on the boxing gloves, and box the gorilla off the roof. The little dog will bite him in the nuts and youโ€™ll never see that Gorilla again.โ€

To which I asked, โ€œWhatโ€™s the shotgun for?โ€

โ€œWell, if by chance the Gorilla knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.โ€

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