Roman Jokes



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Roman Jokes


My Ph.D. thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii.

To understand it all, I had to visit the ancient mooins.

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Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?

She was afraid someone would Caesar.

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A lot of William Shakespeare’s plays were based on old Greek and Roman performances.

That’s playgarism if you ask me.

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After Jesus’s trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.

“I don’t know. I’ll keep you posted.”

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Why did the blood-sucking insect learn Latin?

It wanted to be a Roman-tic.

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Benson runs a nail factory and decides his business needs a bit of advertising.

He has a chat with a friend who works in marketing, and he offers to make a TV ad for Benson’s Nails.

“Give me a week,” says the friend, “and I’ll be back with an ad.”

A week goes by, and the marketing executive comes to see Benson. He opens his laptop and presses play:

A Roman soldier is busy nailing Jesus to the cross. He turns to face the camera and says with a grin, “Use Benson’s Nails, they’ll hold anything.”

Benson goes mad, shouting, “What is the matter with you? They’ll never show that on TV. Give it another try, but no more Romans crucifying Jesus!”

Another week goes by, and the marketing man comes back to see Benson with another ad.

He turns his laptop around and hits play. This time, the camera pans out from a Roman standing with his arms folded to show Jesus on the cross. The Roman looks up at him and says, “Benson’s Nails, they’ll hold anything.”

Benson is beside himself, “You don’t understand: I don’t want anything with Jesus on the cross! Now listen, I’ll give you one last chance. Come back in a week with an advertisement that I can broadcast.”

A week passes, and Benson waits impatiently.

The marketing executive arrives and puts on the new video. A naked man with long hair, gasping for breath, is running across a field. About a dozen Roman soldiers come over the hill, hot on his trail. One of them stops, turns to the camera, and says, “If only we had used Benson’s Nails!”

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If your wife ever gets you a gladiator uniform, it’s a pretty good sign.

She wants you to be more Roman-tic.

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Why don’t Romans find algebra interesting?

X is always 10.

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