Restaurant Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Restaurant Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Restaurant Jokes


I almost called 911 when an armed man came into my restaurant.

But he assured me he didn’t want any beef.

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I went to a restaurant where all the menus were printed in blue ink.

I guess they were trying to get in touch with their blue-side.

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My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.

β€œShe obviously has COVID,” my wife said.

β€œWhy?” I asked.

My wife replied with a sneer, β€œBecause she has no taste.”

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A mummy calls a restaurant.

β€œHello, I’d like to reserve a table for the pharaoh Sakhrakhotep I.”

β€œCould you spell it out, please?” said the voice from the restaurant.

β€œOf course. Bird, two triangles, wavy line, the sun, bird again, jackal’s head, and a scarab.”

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A web developer walks into a restaurant.

He immediately leaves in disgust as the restaurant was laid out in tables.

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I had a bison steak at a restaurant recently.

When I finished, I asked the waiter for the buffalo bill.

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I saw a 50% off sign on a sushi restaurant today.

Sounds fishy to me.

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The shady workers behind the Mexican restaurant...

That’s nacho business.

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Every oven in the greasy hot dog restaurant was broken.

So the diners got a raw deal.

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I recently went to a restaurant, they poisoned my tiramisu. Guess what?

I tiramisued them.

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The panda was always getting locked up when he visited a restaurant. Guess what he did to deserve this?

He asked if he could eat shoots and leaves!

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I met a witch at the restaurant the other day, guess what she ordered?

Spook-eti.

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A couple is on a date at a fancy restaurant. The woman tells the man to say something to her that will get her heart racing.

He replies, β€œI forgot my wallet.”

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A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.

When she gets home, his husband puts a blindfold on hair and says not to take it off.

The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly.

When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing β€œHappy birthday!”.

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It is my first time in court and I heard the judge shouting, β€œOrder!”

So I replied, β€œFried chicken, mac and cheese, and cola.”

Now I’m being escorted out by two officers. I think we are going to a restaurant.

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A man in a French restaurant asks the waiter, β€œDo you have frog legs?”

The waiter looks offended, β€œNo, I’ve always walked like that!”

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Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menuβ€”you get what you deserve.

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Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

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Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon?

It had great food, but no atmosphere.

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