Real Estate Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Real Estate Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Real Estate Jokes

If you think that no-one cares youโ€™re alive...

Just try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

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My wife and I went to see a realtor.

โ€œHave you guys considered moving houses?โ€ he asked.

I said, โ€œNo, we donโ€™t like caravans.โ€

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The older generationโ€™s dream was to pay off the mortgage.

The younger generationโ€™s dream is to get one.

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A lawyer had a wife and 12 children and needed to move as his rental agreement was coming to an end for the home where he lived, but was having difficulty finding a new home.

When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they knew that the children would destroy the home.

He could not say that he had no children, he could not lie, after all, lawyers cannot and do not lie.

So, he had an idea: he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 children. He took the remaining one with him to see homes with the real estate agent.

He liked one of the homes and the agent asked, โ€œHow many children do you have?โ€

He answered, โ€œ12 children.โ€

The agent asked, โ€œWhere are the others?

The lawyer answered, with a sad look, โ€œThey are in the cemetery with their mother.โ€

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Why did the real estate agent fail to sell the house next to a horse stable?

Because his clients were worried about the neigh-bors.

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The real estate agent led me through the impressive property.

โ€œDo you think I could convert this bedroom into a second bathroom?โ€ I asked.

โ€œOf course!โ€ he grinned. โ€œI donโ€™t see why not.โ€

โ€œExcellent,โ€ I replied, pulling down my trousers, โ€œYou might want to look the other way.โ€

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I started to get really worried about climate change when I was house shopping, and my real estate agent used the phrase:

โ€œPotential Water Front Propertyโ€

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