Real Estate Agent Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Real Estate Agent Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Real Estate Agent Jokes

A lawyer had a wife and 12 children and needed to move as his rental agreement was coming to an end for the home where he lived, but was having difficulty finding a new home.

When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they knew that the children would destroy the home.

He could not say that he had no children, he could not lie, after all, lawyers cannot and do not lie.

So, he had an idea: he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 children. He took the remaining one with him to see homes with the real estate agent.

He liked one of the homes and the agent asked, โ€œHow many children do you have?โ€

He answered, โ€œ12 children.โ€

The agent asked, โ€œWhere are the others?

The lawyer answered, with a sad look, โ€œThey are in the cemetery with their mother.โ€

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Whatโ€™s a real estate agentโ€™s favorite song?

โ€œFor Lease Navidadโ€

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Why did the real estate agent fail to sell the house next to a horse stable?

Because his clients were worried about the neigh-bors.

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The real estate agent led me through the impressive property.

โ€œDo you think I could convert this bedroom into a second bathroom?โ€ I asked.

โ€œOf course!โ€ he grinned. โ€œI donโ€™t see why not.โ€

โ€œExcellent,โ€ I replied, pulling down my trousers, โ€œYou might want to look the other way.โ€

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What does a british real estate agent care most about?

His proper tea.

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I started to get really worried about climate change when I was house shopping, and my real estate agent used the phrase:

โ€œPotential Water Front Propertyโ€

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An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him.

He called his priest, his doctor, and his real estate agent to his bedside.

โ€œHereโ€™s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me.โ€

At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin.

Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, โ€œI had only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new baptistery.โ€

โ€œWell, since weโ€™re confiding in each other,โ€ said the doctor. โ€œI only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000.โ€

The real estate agent was aghast, โ€œIโ€™m ashamed of both of you, I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000.โ€

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