Enjoy our team's carefully selected Rat Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
A Scottish man visits Canada for the first time. He goes for a hike and sees a moose.
He asks the park ranger, “Oi! What animal is that then?”
“That’s a moose,” the ranger replied.
“A moose!” exclaimed the Scotsman. “If that there’s a moose, dear laddie, ye must have rats the size of elephants then!”
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Why does Arnold Schwarzenegger never have problems with mice, rats, or cockroaches?
He’s an ex Terminator.
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Did you know the leading cause of cancer in lab rats is research scientists?
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A drunk walks up to a barkeeper one day and says, “If I show you a trick will you give me a free drink?”
The barkeeper says, “Depends on how good of a trick it is.”
The drunk reaches into his pocket, pulls out a frog and places him behind the piano.
The frog starts to play the sweetest jazz riff the barkeeper has ever heard.
He pours the drunk his drink.
The drunk, after killing his drink, says, “If I show you another trick, can I have another free one?”
The barkeeper says, “If it is anything like that last one, you can drink free all night.”
The drunk reaches into his other pocket, pulls out a rat, sets it on top of the piano and the rat starts scatting along with the frog.”
Impressed, the barkeeper starts to pour drinks as fast as the drunk can drink them.
After several hours, a big-time Hollywood agent walks in, sees the act and frantically asks the barkeeper who it belongs to.
The barkeeper points to the drunk who is passed out on the floor.
The agent wakes him up and says, “I will give you 1 million dollars for that act.”
The drunks says, “Not for sale.”
The agent says, “Ok, 100 grand for just the skating rat.”
The drunk says, “Deal.”
The agent writes the check and leaves with the rat.
The barkeeper looks at the drunk and says, “Are you nuts? You had a million-dollar act that you just broke up for a wimpy 100 g’s?”
The Drunk says, “Relax, the frog is a ventriloquist.”
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Baby rat and mommy rat were walking down a dirt road when a bat flies by.
Baby rat turns to his mom and says, “Look, ma, an angel.”
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