Preschooler Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Preschooler Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Preschooler Jokes

A preschooler is asked to write the first sentence every member of his family said.

When he got home, he saw his mom on the phone. He asked her to say a sentence, but she yelled, “Shut up, I’m on the phone!” So, he wrote that down.

He then came into the living room and saw his dad watching a soccer game. The team he was rooting for had just scored the winning goal, so he shouted, “Yes, yes, yes!” The kid wrote that down.

He came upstairs and was going to enter his sister’s room, but he heard her planning a sleepover. He heard her say, “I’m going to stay the night and leave in the morning.” The kid wrote that down.

Next, he watched his brother play with an action figure, and when he picked up Batman, he said, “Dun nu nu nu nu Batman!” That was also written down.

Finally, he saw his little brother reading a book out loud. The first sentence he heard was, “The king’s throne.”

The next day, the teacher said, “Please tell me the first sentence that you wrote down.”

The kid shouted, “Shut up, I’m on the phone!”

The teacher was shocked.

She replied angrily, “Do you want to see the principal?!”

The kid didn’t hear her, so he said, “Yes, yes, yes!”

When the kid got sent to the principal’s office, he still had the paper in his hand.

The principal saw it and asked what was written down on it.

The kid answered, “Shut up, I’m on the phone!”

The principal said, “Excuse me? Who do you think you are?”

The kid continued reading, “Dun nu nu nu nu Batman!”

The principal was very angry and asked with anger, “How long do you want to be here, punk?”

The kid still continued to read, “I’m going to stay the night and leave in the morning.”

Now the principal was fuming, “Is there anywhere special you want to go?!”

The kid replied, “The king’s throne.”

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My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year, and he still can’t say the word “please”.

Which I think is poor for four.

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Johnny was a preschool student who did not know grammar or math very well.

While in class, his teacher asked, “What’s 2+2?”

Johnny answered, “I four-get.”

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A preschool teacher asked her students in class, “Who can count from one to ten?”

Little 3-year-old Timmy swiftly raised his hand, “I can!” and started counting, “One, two, three four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!”

The teacher is impressed, “Well done Timmy! Who taught you that?”

“My uncle Bobby!” Timmy said.

“Can you count past ten?” The teacher asked Timmy.

“That’s easy!” Timmy continued, “Jack, Queen, King…”

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A Sunday school teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday.

The following week, she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned.

Susie said, “He was born in a manger.” Bobby said, “He threw the money changers out of the temple.”

Little Johnny said, “He has a red pickup truck but he doesn’t know how to drive it.”

Curious, the teacher asked, “And where did you learn that, Johnny?”

“From my daddy,” said Johnny. “Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and daddy yelled at him, ‘Jesus Christ! Why don’t you learn how to drive?!’”

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Teacher: “What are the seasons?”

Student: “Salt, pepper, ginger...”

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Why did Johnny take a ruler to bed?

Because he wanted to see how long he slept!

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