Preschool Jokes



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Preschool Jokes


Preschools and bars have the same rule.

You pee your pants, you go home.

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A preschooler is asked to write the first sentence every member of his family said.

When he got home, he saw his mom on the phone. He asked her to say a sentence, but she yelled, โ€œShut up, Iโ€™m on the phone!โ€ So, he wrote that down.

He then came into the living room and saw his dad watching a soccer game. The team he was rooting for had just scored the winning goal, so he shouted, โ€œYes, yes, yes!โ€ The kid wrote that down.

He came upstairs and was going to enter his sisterโ€™s room, but he heard her planning a sleepover. He heard her say, โ€œIโ€™m going to stay the night and leave in the morning.โ€ The kid wrote that down.

Next, he watched his brother play with an action figure, and when he picked up Batman, he said, โ€œDun nu nu nu nu Batman!โ€ That was also written down.

Finally, he saw his little brother reading a book out loud. The first sentence he heard was, โ€œThe kingโ€™s throne.โ€

The next day, the teacher said, โ€œPlease tell me the first sentence that you wrote down.โ€

The kid shouted, โ€œShut up, Iโ€™m on the phone!โ€

The teacher was shocked.

She replied angrily, โ€œDo you want to see the principal?!โ€

The kid didnโ€™t hear her, so he said, โ€œYes, yes, yes!โ€

When the kid got sent to the principalโ€™s office, he still had the paper in his hand.

The principal saw it and asked what was written down on it.

The kid answered, โ€œShut up, Iโ€™m on the phone!โ€

The principal said, โ€œExcuse me? Who do you think you are?โ€

The kid continued reading, โ€œDun nu nu nu nu Batman!โ€

The principal was very angry and asked with anger, โ€œHow long do you want to be here, punk?โ€

The kid still continued to read, โ€œIโ€™m going to stay the night and leave in the morning.โ€

Now the principal was fuming, โ€œIs there anywhere special you want to go?!โ€

The kid replied, โ€œThe kingโ€™s throne.โ€

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My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year, and he still canโ€™t say the word โ€œpleaseโ€.

Which I think is poor for four.

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Whatโ€™s the difference between a physician and a preschool teacher?

One has a job with patients, the other has the patience of job.

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Johnny was a preschool student who did not know grammar or math very well.

While in class, his teacher asked, โ€œWhatโ€™s 2+2?โ€

Johnny answered, โ€œI four-get.โ€

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If lawyers learn at pre-law but doctors learn at pre-med, where do teachers learn?

Pre-school.

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A preschool teacher asked her students in class, โ€œWho can count from one to ten?โ€

Little 3-year-old Timmy swiftly raised his hand, โ€œI can!โ€ and started counting, โ€œOne, two, three four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!โ€

The teacher is impressed, โ€œWell done Timmy! Who taught you that?โ€

โ€œMy uncle Bobby!โ€ Timmy said.

โ€œCan you count past ten?โ€ The teacher asked Timmy.

โ€œThatโ€™s easy!โ€ Timmy continued, โ€œJack, Queen, Kingโ€ฆโ€

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A Sunday school teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday.

The following week, she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned.

Susie said, โ€œHe was born in a manger.โ€ Bobby said, โ€œHe threw the money changers out of the temple.โ€

Little Johnny said, โ€œHe has a red pickup truck but he doesnโ€™t know how to drive it.โ€

Curious, the teacher asked, โ€œAnd where did you learn that, Johnny?โ€

โ€œFrom my daddy,โ€ said Johnny. โ€œYesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and daddy yelled at him, โ€˜Jesus Christ! Why donโ€™t you learn how to drive?!โ€™โ€

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Teacher: โ€œWhat are the seasons?โ€

Student: โ€œSalt, pepper, ginger...โ€

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Why did Johnny take a ruler to bed?

Because he wanted to see how long he slept!

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