Potato Puns and Hilarious Potato Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Potato Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Potato Jokes

What’s the square root of Minecraft?

There’s three, actually: the potatoes, the carrots, and the beetroots.

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It is so hot, potatoes cook underground.

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What did the French Fry say to the Hamburger?

I guess that’s a wrap!

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Two men—one a brunette and the other a blonde—were comparing their luck picking up girls at the beach.

The brunette guy says, “What works for me is this: Go to a grocery store, buy a potato, and put it in your swim trunk.”

The blonde guy thanks him and spends the next 5 hours roaming the beach with a potato in his swim trunks – with no luck.

He says to his brunette friend that he did put a potato in his swim trunks and had no luck.

The brunette guy says to the blonde guy, “You dumb! The potato goes in the FRONT of your trunks, not the back!!!”

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My grandfather worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a boy, and he used to tell me, when I was a little boy myself, how he had toughened himself up so he could stand the rigors of blacksmithing.

One story was how he had developed his arm and shoulder muscles.

He said he would stand outside behind the house and, with a 5-pound potato sack in each hand, extend his arms straight out to his sides and hold them there as long as he could.

After a while he tried 10-pound potato sacks, then 50-pound potato sacks and finally he got to where he could lift a 100-pound potato sack in each hand and hold his arms straight out for more than a full minute.

Next, he started putting potatoes in the sacks.

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Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm?

Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.

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Three women escape from prison—a blonde and two brunettes—and to get away from the cops they hide in an abandoned farmhouse.

Inside the house, there are three sacks that the escapees crawl into when the police search the building.

One of the cops sees the sacks and yells, “There are just three burlap sacks in here!”

To which his partner replies, “Then kick them just to be sure it’s not them hiding”.

The officer goes and kicks one with a brunette in it and she yells, “MEEEYYOWW!”

The officer says, “Oh, it’s just a stupid cat in there.”

So he kicks the one with the other brunette in it and she yells, “RUUFFF RUFFF!”

The officer says, “Oh, it’s just a stupid dog!”

Then he kicks the sack with the blonde in it and she yells, “POTATOES!”

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A man taunted Chuck Norris by holding a bag of potato chips in front of him and saying, “Betcha can’t just one!”

Chuck Norris subsequently ate the chips, the bag, and the man whole.

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What do you get when you cross a race car with a spud?

Crashed potatoes!

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