Portuguese Jokes



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Portuguese Jokes


What do you call a person from Portugal?

Portuguese.

What do you call a person from Portugal who hangs out in a pub with a pint in his hand on a match day?

Portugeezer.

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The Brazilian president and his spouse are staying at a hotel in the USA, in room 222.

Close to 17:00, he calls room service from the landline and says the following.β€œTu ti, tu tututu.”

The attendant has a hard time understanding the request and, considering that it is the president, not just some regular customer, comes to the conclusion that he must have overheard an encoded message meant for a Brazilian operative currently undercover. He calls the CIA and describes the situation. Shortly after, two agents are dispatched to the location.

After some hours of work and observation, they are unable to decipher any meaning from the encoded message.

The president eventually calls again and says, β€œHello. Tu ti, tu tututu.”

The two agents recorded the enigmatic message and, after some more frustration, decided to call in a specialist in the Portuguese language.

The specialist, after learning of the situation, decides that the best course of action is to go undercover as room service to the president’s room.

When the specialist returned, he explained. β€œAll the president wanted was some tea delivered to his room, Two tea, to two two two.”

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What do you call an extraterrestrial that speaks Portuguese?

A Brazalien.

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What’s a toilet on a Portuguese jetty called?

A porto potty.

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What do you call a Portuguese person all by themself?

A Portugoose.

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A man makes a phone call to an export office in a port in France and asks whether they can ship a 20’ container with live geese properly stored in their appropriate places.

β€œOui, monsieur. What is the destination port for this load?”

β€œI’m sending them to the zoo in Brazil.”

β€œWouldn’t you be better off calling the export office in Portugal?”

β€œWhy is that, sir?”

β€œIf you’re sending them to Brazil to avoid bureaucracy, then you should contact the Portuguese, of course!”

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Chuck Norris speaks English, French, Spanish, Italian, and Portuguese.

At the same time in every sentence.

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What language do Brazilian geese speak?

Portu-geese.

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