Enjoy our team's carefully selected Poop Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
A guy walks into the doctorβs office and says, βDoc, I havenβt had a bowel movement in a week!β
The doctor gives him a prescription for a mild laxative and tells him, βIf it doesnβt work, let me know.β
A week later, the guy is back, βDoc, still no movement!β
The doctor says, βHmm, guess you need something stronger,β and prescribes a powerful laxative.
Still another week later, the poor guy is back, βDoc, STILL nothing!β
The doctor, worried, says, βWeβd better get some more information about you to try to figure out whatβs going on. What do you do for a living?β
βIβm a musician, I play the drums.β
The doctor looks up and says, βWell, thatβs it! Hereβs $10. Go get something to eat!β
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On the day my friends were hosting my birthday celebration, I had diarrhea.
I was a party pooper.
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I was having random bouts of diarrhea but I couldnβt figure out what was causing it.
Then I started keeping track.
I realized it was only happening when I would wear those polo shirts with the little alligator stitched on them.
Turns out Iβm Lacoste intolerant.
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What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
A Salad Shooter.
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What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?
Plenty of room.
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From now on, I will avoid food that gives me diarrhea.
Itβs a solid plan.
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What do diarrhea and eye colour have in common?
It runs in your genes.
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My mother-in-law has a massive case of diarrhea.
She wonβt find out until she unpacks her luggage.
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Whatβs faster: lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
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First friend: βI poop every morning at 8 a.m.β
Second friend: βHey, itβs good to be regular. Whatβs the problem?β
First friend, βI wake up at 9 a.m.β
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You never really appreciate what youβve got until itβs gone.
Toilet paper is a good example.
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Politicians are like diapers.
They need to be changed often, and for the same reasons.
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Children are like farts.
Your own are just about bearable, but everyone elseβs are horrendous.
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They said pooping is a call of nature.
So is farting a missed call?
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Knock! Knock!
βWhoβs there?β
βI did up.β
βI did up, who?β
βEww, you did a poo?β
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Knock! Knock!
βWhoβs there?β
βI eep.β
βI eep, who?β
βGross, you eat poo?!β
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Why hasnβt anyone ever seen ghost poop?
Because itβs invisible.
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Where does Spider-Man poop?
Web-ever he wants.
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Yo mama so fat she pooped out the Death Star!
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Yo mama so dumb she thought Call of Duty was a game about pooping.
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NASA sent a probe to all of the planets in our solar system but quit after Uranus...
They found it to be a poophole.
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What is blue and lies under a mushroom?
Smurf poop.
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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and poops out grizzly bears.
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Chuck Norris once ate a Rubikβs Cube and pooped it out solved.
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