Poop Jokes: Funny and Hilarious!
Enjoy our team's carefully selected Poop Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
A guy walks into the doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I haven’t had a bowel movement in a week!”
The doctor gives him a prescription for a mild laxative and tells him, “If it doesn’t work, let me know.”
A week later, the guy is back, “Doc, still no movement!”
The doctor says, “Hmm, guess you need something stronger,” and prescribes a powerful laxative.
Still another week later, the poor guy is back, “Doc, STILL nothing!”
The doctor, worried, says, “We’d better get some more information about you to try to figure out what’s going on. What do you do for a living?”
“I’m a musician, I play the drums.”
The doctor looks up and says, “Well, that’s it! Here’s $10. Go get something to eat!”
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On the day my friends were hosting my birthday celebration, I had diarrhea.
I was a party pooper.
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I was having random bouts of diarrhea but I couldn’t figure out what was causing it.
Then I started keeping track.
I realized it was only happening when I would wear those polo shirts with the little alligator stitched on them.
Turns out I’m Lacoste intolerant.
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What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
A Salad Shooter.
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What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?
Plenty of room.
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From now on, I will avoid food that gives me diarrhea.
It’s a solid plan.
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What do diarrhea and eye colour have in common?
It runs in your genes.
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My mother-in-law has a massive case of diarrhea.
She won’t find out until she unpacks her luggage.
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What’s faster: lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
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First friend: “I poop every morning at 8 a.m.”
Second friend: “Hey, it’s good to be regular. What’s the problem?”
First friend, “I wake up at 9 a.m.”
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You never really appreciate what you’ve got until it’s gone.
Toilet paper is a good example.
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Politicians are like diapers.
They need to be changed often, and for the same reasons.
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Children are like farts.
Your own are just about bearable, but everyone else’s are horrendous.
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They said pooping is a call of nature.
So is farting a missed call?
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“I did up.”
“I did up, who?”
“Eww, you did a poo?”
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“I eep.”
“I eep, who?”
“Gross, you eat poo?!”
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Why hasn’t anyone ever seen ghost poop?
Because it’s invisible.
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Where does Spider-Man poop?
Web-ever he wants.
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Yo mama so fat she pooped out the Death Star!
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Yo mama so dumb she thought Call of Duty was a game about pooping.
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NASA sent a probe to all of the planets in our solar system but quit after Uranus...
They found it to be a poophole.
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What is blue and lies under a mushroom?
Smurf poop.
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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and poops out grizzly bears.
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Chuck Norris once ate a Rubik’s Cube and pooped it out solved.
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