Poop Jokes: Funny and Hilarious!



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Poop Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Poop Jokes


A guy walks into the doctor’s office and says, β€œDoc, I haven’t had a bowel movement in a week!”

The doctor gives him a prescription for a mild laxative and tells him, β€œIf it doesn’t work, let me know.”

A week later, the guy is back, β€œDoc, still no movement!”

The doctor says, β€œHmm, guess you need something stronger,” and prescribes a powerful laxative.

Still another week later, the poor guy is back, β€œDoc, STILL nothing!”

The doctor, worried, says, β€œWe’d better get some more information about you to try to figure out what’s going on. What do you do for a living?”

β€œI’m a musician, I play the drums.”

The doctor looks up and says, β€œWell, that’s it! Here’s $10. Go get something to eat!”

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On the day my friends were hosting my birthday celebration, I had diarrhea.

I was a party pooper.

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I was having random bouts of diarrhea but I couldn’t figure out what was causing it.

Then I started keeping track.

I realized it was only happening when I would wear those polo shirts with the little alligator stitched on them.

Turns out I’m Lacoste intolerant.

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What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?

A Salad Shooter.

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What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?

Plenty of room.

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From now on, I will avoid food that gives me diarrhea.

It’s a solid plan.

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What do diarrhea and eye colour have in common?

It runs in your genes.

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My mother-in-law has a massive case of diarrhea.

She won’t find out until she unpacks her luggage.

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What’s faster: lightning, light, or diarrhea?

Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.

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First friend: β€œI poop every morning at 8 a.m.”

Second friend: β€œHey, it’s good to be regular. What’s the problem?”

First friend, β€œI wake up at 9 a.m.”

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You never really appreciate what you’ve got until it’s gone.

Toilet paper is a good example.

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Politicians are like diapers.

They need to be changed often, and for the same reasons.

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Children are like farts.

Your own are just about bearable, but everyone else’s are horrendous.

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They said pooping is a call of nature.

So is farting a missed call?

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œI did up.”

β€œI did up, who?”

β€œEww, you did a poo?”

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œI eep.”

β€œI eep, who?”

β€œGross, you eat poo?!”

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Why hasn’t anyone ever seen ghost poop?

Because it’s invisible.

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Where does Spider-Man poop?

Web-ever he wants.

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Yo mama so fat she pooped out the Death Star!

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Yo mama so dumb she thought Call of Duty was a game about pooping.

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NASA sent a probe to all of the planets in our solar system but quit after Uranus...

They found it to be a poophole.

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What is blue and lies under a mushroom?

Smurf poop.

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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and poops out grizzly bears.

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Chuck Norris once ate a Rubik’s Cube and pooped it out solved.

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