Poland Jokes

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Poland Jokes

I just walked past a man in shorts carrying a really long stick and I asked him, β€œAre you a pole vaulter?”

He said, β€œNo, I’m German, how did you know my name was Walter?”

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A Polish man calls 911.

Operator: β€œ911, what’s your emergency?”

Pole: β€œHelp! My wife is trying to kill me!”

Operator: β€œHow do you know?”

Pole: β€œI checked her medicine cabinet and found β€˜Polish Remover’!”

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A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver’s license. First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.

β€œCan you read this?” the optician asked.

β€œWhat do you mean if I can read this?” the Polish guy replied, β€œI know the dude.”

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Who was Alexander Graham Kowalski?

The first telephone Pole.

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What do you call a Polish fisherman?

A fishing pole.

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First Pole: β€œKnock-Knock!”

Second Pole: β€œCome in!”

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Why do Polish people have ski at the end of their names?

Because they can’t spell toboggan.

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What do you call a Polish ape?


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A French couple, an Italian couple and a Polish couple go out to dinner.

The French husband says to his wife, β€œPass the honey, honey.”

The Italian man says to his wife, β€œPass the sugar, sweety.”

The polish guy, not quite understanding the situation, says to his wife, β€œPass the bacon, you fat pig.”

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Three astronauts are sitting at a table: one from the US, one from Russia and one from Poland.

The US astronaut says, β€œWe’re going to Mars.”

The Russian says, β€œWe made it to the moon.”

The Pole says, β€œWe’re going to the sun.”

The other two astronauts say, β€œYou can’t land on the sun, you’ll burn. There’s nothing to land on.”

The polish guy says, β€œDon’t tell anyone, but we’re going at night!”

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