Enjoy our team's carefully selected Planting Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
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What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses?
Tulips.
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Sherlock was gardening when Watson came over and asked what he was planting.
“A lemon tree, my dear Wat-son.”
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If trees produced Wi-Fi, we would be planting them everywhere.
Too bad they only produce oxygen.
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An elderly man living alone in Manchester wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard.
His only son, Paul, who used to help him, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Paul,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here, my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love
Dad
A few days later, he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad,
don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love
Paul.
At 4 a.m. the next morning, CID officers and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day, the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad,
go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
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A farmer goes to the bank for a loan. He needs money to lay in his annual crop of peanuts. Times have been hard and he’s hopeful the bank will lend him the funds to buy seed and hopefully, he can get a good crop.
The banker apologizes and explains that, although many farmers have asked, peanuts crops have been so poor that the bank is simply unwilling to loan to anyone planning to plant peanuts. However, the banker says, the bank is willing to loan on other crops. The banker recommends sunflowers.
The farmer is devastated, but eventually agrees to give sunflowers a try. Anything to get the loan and get some seed in the ground, he says.
At harvest time, another farmer asks how the sunflowers worked out.
The farmer admits that they’ve done very well—so well that he expects to be able to pay back the bank, put money away for the winter and even, possibly, have money left over for next year’s peanuts!
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