Enjoy our team's carefully selected Pizza Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Why does it take marketers so long to order a pizza?
Because they have to run A/B tests to choose the best toppings.
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I looked out of my living room window yesterday in horror to see a crowd gathered round a crashed motorcyclist.
So I quickly put on my coat and shoes and rushed outside.
Pushed through the crowds shouting “let me through, let me through!”.
I finally managed to get to the front of the crowd.
A woman turned to me and said, “Oh, thank goodness, are you a doctor?”.
I replied no, but that’s my pizza!
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If a crab worked in a pizza parlor, which station would it work?
The crust station.
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It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
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If you were a food what would you be?
Friend 1: “Pizza because I’m so cheesy.”
Friend 2: “Chocolate chip cookie because I have lots of friends.”
Me: “Donut because I’m so empty inside.”
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A thief got caught stealing pizza. Guess what the police told him?
His marinara rights.
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A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino’s Pizza:
Customer: “Yoooo, I ordered a pizza, and it came with no toppings on it or anything, it’s just bread!”
Domino’s: “We’re sorry to hear about this.”
Customer (minutes later): “Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down...”
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We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
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A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall and idly picking his teeth. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.
He asked the guy, “How much money do you make a week?”
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, “I make a little over $400 a week, why?”
The CEO said, “Wait right here.”
He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, handed the guy $1,600 in cash, and said, “Here’s four weeks’ pay. Now GET OUT and don’t come back.”
Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goofball did here?”
From across the room, a voice said, “Sure, he was the Pizza delivery guy and was just waiting to collect the money.”
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I always shout “PIZZA’S HERE” so the delivery guy doesn’t think I’m eating those two pizzas by myself.
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Pizza Man: “Do you want me to cut your pizza into eight pieces or six pieces?”
Customer: “You better make it six. I don’t think I can eat eight.”
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What did parmesan say when it broke up with mozzarella?
“I’m sorry, I’m too mature for you.”
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I burned 2000 calories today.
I fell asleep while baking pizza in the oven.
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Slice me, baby. I am all yours tonight.
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The only love triangle I want is a slice of pizza.
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“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
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What can a whole pizza do that a half pizza cannot do?
A whole one can look round.
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