Jokes on Pizza

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Pizza Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Pizza Jokes

I looked out of my living room window yesterday in horror to see a crowd gathered round a crashed motorcyclist.

So I quickly put on my coat and shoes and rushed outside.

Pushed through the crowds shouting β€œlet me through, let me through!”.

I finally managed to get to the front of the crowd.

A woman turned to me and said, β€œOh, thank goodness, are you a doctor?”.

I replied no, but that’s my pizza!

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If a crab worked in a pizza parlor, which station would it work?

The crust station.

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It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.

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If you were a food what would you be?

Friend 1: β€œPizza because I’m so cheesy.”

Friend 2: β€œChocolate chip cookie because I have lots of friends.”

Me: β€œDonut because I’m so empty inside.”

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A thief got caught stealing pizza. Guess what the police told him?

His marinara rights.

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A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino’s Pizza:

Customer: β€œYoooo, I ordered a pizza and came with no toppings on it or anything, it’s just bread!”

Domino’s: β€œWe’re sorry to hear about this.”

Customer (minutes later): β€œNever mind, I opened the pizza upside down...”

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We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

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A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall and idly picking his teeth. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.

He asked the guy, β€œHow much money do you make a week?”

A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, β€œI make a little over $400 a week, why?”

The CEO said, β€œWait right here.”

He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, β€œHere’s four weeks’ pay. Now GET OUT and don’t come back.”

Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, β€œDoes anyone want to tell me what that goofball did here?”

From across the room, a voice said, β€œSure, he was the Pizza delivery guy and was just waiting to collect the money.”

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I always shout β€œPIZZA’S HERE” so the delivery guy doesn’t think I’m eating those two pizzas by myself.

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Pizza Man: β€œDo you want me to cut your pizza into eight pieces or six pieces?”

Customer: β€œYou better make it six. I don’t think I can eat eight.”

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What did parmesan say when it broke up with mozzarella?

β€œI’m sorry, I’m too mature for you.”

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I burned 2000 calories today. I fell asleep while baking pizza in the oven.

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Slice me, baby. I am all yours tonight.

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The only love triangle I want is a slice of pizza.

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β€œWaiter, will my pizza be long?”

β€œNo sir, it will be round!”

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What can a whole pizza do that a half pizza cannot do?

A whole one can look round.

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