Jokes on Pizza



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Pizza Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Pizza Jokes


Itโ€™s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.

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If you were a food what would you be?

Friend 1: โ€œPizza because Iโ€™m so cheesy.โ€

Friend 2: โ€œChocolate chip cookie because I have lots of friends.โ€

Me: โ€œDonut because Iโ€™m so empty inside.โ€

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A thief got caught stealing pizza. Guess what the police told him?

His marinara rights.

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A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Dominoโ€™s Pizza:

Customer: โ€œYoooo, I ordered a pizza and came with no toppings on it or anything, itโ€™s just bread!โ€

Dominoโ€™s: โ€œWeโ€™re sorry to hear about this.โ€

Customer (minutes later): โ€œNever mind, I opened the pizza upside down...โ€

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We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

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A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall and idly picking his teeth. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.

He asked the guy, โ€œHow much money do you make a week?โ€

A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, โ€œI make a little over $400 a week, why?โ€

The CEO said, โ€œWait right here.โ€

He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, โ€œHereโ€™s four weeksโ€™ pay. Now GET OUT and donโ€™t come back.โ€

Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, โ€œDoes anyone want to tell me what that goofball did here?โ€

From across the room, a voice said, โ€œSure, he was the Pizza delivery guy and was just waiting to collect the money.โ€

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I always shout โ€œPIZZAโ€™S HEREโ€ so the delivery guy doesnโ€™t think Iโ€™m eating those two pizzas by myself.

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Pizza Man: โ€œDo you want me to cut your pizza into eight pieces or six pieces?โ€

Customer: โ€œYou better make it six. I donโ€™t think I can eat eight.โ€

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What did parmesan say when it broke up with mozzarella?

โ€œIโ€™m sorry, Iโ€™m too mature for you.โ€

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I burned 2000 calories today. I fell asleep while baking pizza in the oven.

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Slice me, baby. I am all yours tonight.

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The only love triangle I want is a slice of pizza.

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โ€œWaiter, will my pizza be long?โ€

โ€œNo sir, it will be round!โ€

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What can a whole pizza do that a half pizza cannot do?

A whole one can look round.

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