Jokes About Pirates

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Pirate Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

I am pretty sure that my algebra teacher is secretly a pirate.

He constantly is trying to find X.

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Why did the pirate cross the road?

To get to the second-hand shop.

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A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, “1 enemy ship on the horizon.”

The captain says, “Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die.”

So the watchman comes to him and asks, “Why did you want your red shirt?”

The captain says, “Because if I get injured they won’t see and keep on fighting.”

So the watchman comes to him again and says, “20 enemy ships on the horizon.”

The captain says, “Bring me my brown pants.”

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What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?

8 pirates.

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A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea.

The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch.

The seaman asks, “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?”

The pirate replies, “We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off.”

“Wow!” said the seaman.

“What about your hook?”

“Well,” replied the pirate, “we were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemies cut my hand off.”

“Incredible!” remarked the seaman.

“How did you get the eye patch?”

“A seagull dropping fell into my eye,” replied the pirate.

“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” the sailor asked incredulously.

“Well,” said the pirate, “it was my first day with my hook...”

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What do you call a pirate with both eyes and all his limbs?

A rookie.

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Where can you find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?

Right where ye left him!

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