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Jokes About Pirates



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Pirate Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



I am pretty sure that my algebra teacher is secretly a pirate.

He constantly is trying to find X.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Why did the pirate cross the road?

To get to the second-hand shop.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, β€œ1 enemy ship on the horizon.”

The captain says, β€œBring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die.”

So the watchman comes to him and asks, β€œWhy did you want your red shirt?”

The captain says, β€œBecause if I get injured they won’t see and keep on fighting.”

So the watchman comes to him again and says, β€œ20 enemy ships on the horizon.”

The captain says, β€œBring me my brown pants.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?

8 pirates.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea.

The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch.

The seaman asks, β€œSo, how did you end up with the peg-leg?”

The pirate replies, β€œWe were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off.”

β€œWow!” said the seaman.

β€œWhat about your hook?”

β€œWell,” replied the pirate, β€œwe were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemies cut my hand off.”

β€œIncredible!” remarked the seaman.

β€œHow did you get the eye patch?”

β€œA seagull dropping fell into my eye,” replied the pirate.

β€œYou lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” the sailor asked incredulously.

β€œWell,” said the pirate, β€œit was my first day with my hook...”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


What do you call a pirate with both eyes and all his limbs?

A rookie.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Where can you find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?

Right where ye left him!

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„





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