Pineapple Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Pineapple Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Pineapple Jokes


My wife and I had no idea what happiness meant until we had kids.

But by then, it was too late.

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Today I donated a watch, a phone and $500 to a poor guy.

You can’t know the happiness I felt as I saw him put his knife back in his pocket.

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I never knew what happiness was until I got married.

And then it was too late.

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The 5 secrets to happiness for men:

1. Find a woman who can make you laugh.

2. Find a woman who can cook.

3. Find a woman who really listens to you.

4. Find a woman who is great in bed.

5. Make sure these 4 women don’t find out about each other.

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Where is happiness made?

At the satisfactory.

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Morals:

1. Money is not everything. There’s also MasterCard & Visa.

2. One should love animals. They are tasty too.

3. Save water. Drink beer.

4. Studying is healthy. So leave it for the sick.

5. Books are holy. So don’t touch them.

6. Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life...

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Yes, money can’t buy happiness, but it is much more comfortable to cry in a new BMW than on a bike.

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After several attempts to get the customer service agent on the phone to understand his name, my Asian-American friend Appappa decided to spell it out.

β€œA for apple,” he began, β€œP for pineapple, p for pineapple, a for apple, p for pineapple, p for...”

The flustered agent interrupted, β€œI have a better idea,” she said, β€œjust tell me how many apples and how many pineapples.”

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Where do you get pineapple milk from?

From its pinenipples.

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What do you get when you cross a pineapple and a pig?

A porky–pine.

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What is a bank card’s favorite fruit?

A PIN-apple.

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What do you call a computer covered in fruit chunks?

A pineApple Mac.

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Why did the pineapple stop in the middle of the road?

Because he ran out of juice.

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The next person that asks me for a pineapple juice, a cranberry juice and some lemonade with a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a punch.

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What do you call a fat pineapple?

A pineapple chunk.

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What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?

Pineapple.

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What kind of apple isn’t an apple?

A pineapple.

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You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, which is kinda the same thing.

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A little girl finally got to attend a wedding for the first time.

While in the church, the girl asked her mother, β€œWhy is the bride dressed in white?”

The mother replied to the girl, β€œBecause white is the color of happiness and it’s the happiest day of her life today.”

After a little bit, the girl looks up at her mother and says, β€œBut, then why is the groom wearing black?”

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