Pickle Puns and Hilarious Pickle Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Pickle Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Pickle Jokes

What’s a pickle’s life philosophy?

Never a dill moment.

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Guess what the pickle did when he had a bad day?

He just had to dill.

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There was a guy on the beach with about 25 gorgeous chicks swarming all around him.

Seeing this, a second guy strolls on up to him and asks, β€œWhat’s your secret?” The guy whispers, β€œAll you gotta do is stick a pickle in your pants.”

In a flourish, the second guy runs off and stuffs a pickle in his pants.

But when he returns to the shore, he soon discovers that every single girl that looks his way, runs off screaming in bloody terror.

Confused, he hurries over to the first guy and desperately asks, β€œWhy are all the girls running away from me?”

The first guy looks up and replies, β€œThe pickle’s on the wrong side.”

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After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker’s boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers.

Angrily she asked, β€œIf you had 4 pickles and I asked for one, how many would you have left?”

Quickly he replied, β€œIf it was you who asked, I’d still have 4 pickles.”

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What is green and dangerous?

A thundering herd of pickles!

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What’s black and white and green in the middle?

Two zebras, fighting over a pickle.

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I walked into the kitchen today to find my blonde wife looking very confused while holding a jar of pickles.

β€œWhat’s wrong?” I asked her.

She replied, β€œThis jar of pickles says to store it in a cool, dark location.”

I said, β€œOkay, how about in the fridge?”

She said, β€œNo, silly, there’s a little light inside.”

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