Pick Up Lines: Funny and Hilarious!



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Pick up Lines Funny. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Pick up Lines Funny


You are more precious than my blue suede shoes.

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Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.

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I want to love you the way Peter Parker love Gwen Stacy.

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I don’t want to be Spider-Man, I just want to be your man.

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I can wrap you up in my web anytime you want.

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I want to trap you in my web and never let go.

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Boy, it looks like you’ve been caught in my web... of love.

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High five! Oops... I guess you’re now stuck with me.

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You’re so fly, all I want to do right now is wrap you up and take you to my web.

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I have a lot of experience catching women who’ve been thrown off their feet, feel free to fall.

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If a spider can bite you and make you a Spider-Man, can you bite me so I can be your man?

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Spider-Man came all the way down here to tell me I dropped his phone number.

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Every Spider-Man needs a Mary Jane...

Can you be my Mary Jane?

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Hi, is your name Sony?

Because I’m Spider-Man, and baby, I’m all yours...

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I’m not Superman, I’m not Batman, I’m not Spider-Man...

But I’m your Man.

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My spider senses tell me you’re going to fall for me harder than Gwen Stacy.

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They tell me to not tell anyone about my dreams.

So I guess I can’t tell anyone about you then.

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I guess your parents are bakers.

Because they made such a cutie pie!

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Boy: β€œI’m a superhero. Guess my name?”

Girl: β€œIron Man? Spider-Man?”

Boy: β€œYourman!”

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I guess I don’t need any sunshine anymore.

Because your smile is going to brighten up my day!

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I guess I must be a nine out of ten...

Cause you’re the one I need!

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He goes up to a lady and holds out his phone to her.

He: β€œWould you mind holding this for a second?”

He: β€œ...Does my phone feel light to you?”

She: β€œI guess?”

He: β€œI knew it it’s been feeling light all day, and I just can’t figure out.”

He: β€œ...I figured it out!”

She: β€œWhat?”

He: β€œIt’s missing your number.”

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They say laughter is the best medicine.

I guess your face can cure the world.

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Hey Baby, My Name Is Saul Goodman.

I guess you better call me.

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Roses are red, cacti are thorny.

When I’m around you, you make me very...HAPPY!

I guess what I’m trying to say is aloe you very much.

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Your father must have been the greatest thief in history.

He stole all the stars in the sky and put them in your eyes.

And heh, I guess it runs in the family. ’Cause you stole my heart.

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Sorry, I would’ve texted sooner but my phone just overheated.

I guess you’re just too hot for Tinder.

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I bet you a dollar I can kiss you on the mouth without touching your lips.

...I guess I owe you a dollar.

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Hey, guess what I am drinking tonight?

Nothing because I am already drunk on you.

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Guess what my doctor told me?

Laughter is the best medicine. I guess you bring the smile to my face.

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Guess why I am standing here?

Because I want to be your Mr. Right.

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Guess what the only superhero I want to be?

YourMan.

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Guess what the doctor just told me?

I need some sunshine so that’s why I got you to brighten my day.

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Guess what I’m wearing?

The smile you gave me.

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Guess what is my favorite tea?

I would say you Hot tea.

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Guess what I am wearing tonight?

I guess nothing if you come over.

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Babe, guess what would look good on you?

Me.

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You must secretly be a nuclear technician because you’re both radiant and glowing!

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I’m sure you could donate blood to me because you’re just my type!

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We’re not socks.

But I think we’d make a great pair.

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I think I am going to need knee surgery.

Every day I am with you, I fall for you all over again.

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I think you are suffering...

From a lack of vitamin me.

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You are just like my car.

You drive me crazy.

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You are like my asthma.

You just take my breath away.

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On a scale from 1 to 10, you’re a 9... and I’m the 1 you need.

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I love you un-cone-ditionally.

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You put the β€˜hot’ in hot fudge sundae.

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You must be frozen yogurt, because I want to spoon you.

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You must be a gelato, because you make ice creams look bad.

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You could never be ice cream, because you are too hot!

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You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, which is kinda the same thing.

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One scoop of me, plus one scoop of you, equals a big bowl of cute.

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It must be hot in here, because you’re making me melt.

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If you were ice cream, you would be my favorite flavor.

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I’m not here to play mind games.

Except brain freeze.

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I want you more than a Hagen-Daas on a hot summer day.

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I melt with you.

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I love you more than ice cream.

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I brought you a small spoon, in case you wanted to sample my flavor.

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Can I have a waffle cone, and 2 scoops of you?

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Call me a dentist, because you are too sweet.

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Are you made of ice cream?

Because I can’t wait to eat you up!

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Hey girl, are you an angler fish?

Because you are the light in my darkness.

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A shark just ate my girlfriend during our fishing trip.

Will you be my new one?

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I hear you don’t like fractions… So will you let me be your other half?

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Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?

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I’m not an organ donor, but I’d be happy to give you my heart.

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Are you an electrician?

Because you’re definitely lighting up my night!

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Do you like Mexican food? Because I want to wrap you in my arms and make you my BAE-rito.

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Is your dad an alien because you’re out of this world?

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Are you Wi-Fi? Cause I’m totally feeling a connection.

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You’re so sweet you must be made out of chocolate.

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Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?

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Is your name Google?

Because you have everything I’m searching for.

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Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

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