Pick Up Lines: Funny and Hilarious!

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Pick Up Lines Funny. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

I want to love you the way Peter Parker love Gwen Stacy.

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I don’t want to be Spider-Man, I just want to be your man.

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I can wrap you up in my web anytime you want.

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I want to trap you in my web and never let go.

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Boy, it looks like you’ve been caught in my web... of love.

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High five! Oops... I guess you’re now stuck with me.

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You’re so fly, all I want to do right now is wrap you up and take you to my web.

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I have a lot of experience catching women who’ve been thrown off their feet, feel free to fall.

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If a spider can bite you and make you a Spider-Man, can you bite me so I can be your man?

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Spider-Man came all the way down here to tell me I dropped his phone number.

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Every Spider-Man needs a Mary Jane...

Can you be my Mary Jane?

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Hi, is your name Sony?

Because I’m Spider-Man, and baby, I’m all yours...

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I’m not Superman, I’m not Batman, I’m not Spider-Man...

But I’m your Man.

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My spider senses tell me you’re going to fall for me harder than Gwen Stacy.

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They tell me to not tell anyone about my dreams.

So I guess I can’t tell anyone about you then.

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I guess your parents are bakers.

Because they made such a cutie pie!

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Boy: “I’m a superhero. Guess my name?”

Girl: “Iron Man? Spider-Man?”

Boy: “Yourman!”

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I guess I don’t need any sunshine anymore.

Because your smile is going to brighten up my day!

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I guess I must be a nine out of ten...

Cause you’re the one I need!

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He goes up to a lady and holds out his phone to her.

He: “Would you mind holding this for a second?”

He: “...Does my phone feel light to you?”

She: “I guess?”

He: “I knew it it’s been feeling light all day, and I just can’t figure out.”

He: “...I figured it out!”

She: “What?”

He: “It’s missing your number.”

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They say laughter is the best medicine.

I guess your face can cure the world.

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Hey Baby, My Name Is Saul Goodman.

I guess you better call me.

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Roses are red, cacti are thorny.

When I’m around you, you make me very...HAPPY!

I guess what I’m trying to say is aloe you very much.

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Your father must have been the greatest thief in history.

He stole all the stars in the sky and put them in your eyes.

And heh, I guess it runs in the family. ’Cause you stole my heart.

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Sorry, I would’ve texted sooner but my phone just overheated.

I guess you’re just too hot for Tinder.

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I bet you a dollar I can kiss you on the mouth without touching your lips.

...I guess I owe you a dollar.

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Hey, guess what I am drinking tonight?

Nothing because I am already drunk on you.

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Guess what my doctor told me?

Laughter is the best medicine. I guess you bring the smile to my face.

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Guess why I am standing here?

Because I want to be your Mr. Right.

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Guess what the only superhero I want to be?

YourMan.

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Guess what the doctor just told me?

I need some sunshine so that’s why I got you to brighten my day.

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Guess what I’m wearing?

The smile you gave me.

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Guess what is my favorite tea?

I would say you Hot tea.

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Guess what I am wearing tonight?

I guess nothing if you come over.

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Babe, guess what would look good on you?

Me.

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You must secretly be a nuclear technician because you’re both radiant and glowing!

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I’m sure you could donate blood to me because you’re just my type!

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We’re not socks.

But I think we’d make a great pair.

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I think I am going to need knee surgery.

Every day I am with you, I fall for you all over again.

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I think you are suffering...

From a lack of vitamin me.

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You are just like my car.

You drive me crazy.

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You are like my asthma.

You just take my breath away.

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On a scale from 1 to 10, you’re a 9... and I’m the 1 you need.

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I love you un-cone-ditionally.

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You put the ‘hot’ in hot fudge sundae.

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You must be frozen yogurt, because I want to spoon you.

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You must be a gelato, because you make ice creams look bad.

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You could never be ice cream, because you are too hot!

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You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, which is kinda the same thing.

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One scoop of me, plus one scoop of you, equals a big bowl of cute.

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It must be hot in here, because you’re making me melt.

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If you were ice cream, you would be my favorite flavor.

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I’m not here to play mind games.

Except brain freeze.

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I want you more than a Hagen-Daas on a hot summer day.

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I melt with you.

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I love you more than ice cream.

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I brought you a small spoon, in case you wanted to sample my flavor.

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Can I have a waffle cone, and 2 scoops of you?

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Call me a dentist, because you are too sweet.

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Are you made of ice cream?

Because I can’t wait to eat you up!

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Hey girl, are you an angler fish?

Because you are the light in my darkness.

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A shark just ate my girlfriend during our fishing trip.

Will you be my new one?

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I hear you don’t like fractions… So will you let me be your other half?

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Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?

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I’m not an organ donor, but I’d be happy to give you my heart.

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Are you an electrician? Because you’re definitely lighting up my night!

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Do you like Mexican food? Because I want to wrap you in my arms and make you my BAE-rito.

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Is your dad an alien because you’re out of this world?

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Are you wi-fi? Cause I’m totally feeling a connection.

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You’re so sweet you must be made out of chocolate.

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Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?

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Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’m searching for.

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Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

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