Physics Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Physics Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Physics Jokes

Chuck Norris can fly, because gravity is too scared to make him obey her law.

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Why do physics professors prefer overweight students?

They have greater potential.

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The physics student asks to go to the bathroom. Professor asks, β€œLiquid, Solid or Gas?”

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A physics student asks his teacher, β€œCan you point me to someone who can teach me a way in which quantum mechanics can be united with general relativity?”

The teacher answers, β€œLet me see if I can pull some strings for you.”

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When the teacher got frustrated because the students weren’t paying attention to the class about Isaac Newton, he exclaimed, β€œDon’t you understand the gravity of this situation!”

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How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving?

He was very thinkful.

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I got caught cheating on my physics exam.

Furious, my professor said to me, β€œI hope you understand the gravity of the situation!”

But if I had known that, I wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place.

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I burst into tears right before my physics exam.

The professor asked, β€œWhat’s the matter?”

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You enter the laboratory and see an experiment.

How will you know which class is it?

If it’s green and wiggles, it’s biology.

If it stinks, it’s chemistry.

If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.

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How do you know that the driver driving toward you is a physicist?

He has a red sticker on his bumper that says β€œIf this sticker is blue, you are driving too fast”.

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Did you hear about the physicist who was reading a great book on anti-gravity?

He couldn’t put it down.

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How many general-relativity theorists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate space.

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A physicist is watching a man who believes he can fly. Every time he goes up the steep hill, he jumps off and hurts himself.

The physicist watches this for 7 days.

On the 8th day, he goes to the man and says, β€œI don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation.”

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Relativity: when the family gets together.

Black holes: what you get in black socks.

Critical mass: a big group of film reviewers.

Hyperspace: where you park at the superstore.

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All the physicists meet up in heaven and decide to play a game of hide and seek.

They decide that Fermi will be the seeker, so he closes his eyes and begins counting to 100.

All the physicists scatter, except for Newton, who calmly reaches into his pocket, takes out some chalk, and draws a square one meter on a side.

Fermi finishes counting and turns around, seeing Newton standing in his chalk square he yells, β€œI found Newton. Newton is out!”

Newton protests, β€œNo, I’m Newton in a meter squareβ€”I’m Pascal. Pascal is out!”

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Why can’t you trust an atom?

They make up everything.

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A mathematician, and physicist, and an engineer are asked to find the volume of a red rubber ball.

The mathematician knows that the volume of a sphere has been mathematically determined so he measures the radius and puts it into the proper formula.

The physicist knows that Archimedes discovered how to determine the volume of an object so they submerge it in water and record the change in water level.

The engineer finds the number on the ball then pulls out their book of red rubber balls and finds its specifications.

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My physicist girlfriend told me that she loves me to the moon and back.

I’m worried she means displacement, not distance.

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A quantum physicist and his friend go out for ice cream.

β€œWhat’s your favorite flavor?” asks the friend.

β€œCharm,” replies the physicist.

His friend looks at him.

β€œWhy is it that whenever I ask you a question,” begins the friend, β€œyour answer is always strange?”

β€œWell, it’s strange β€˜now’,” the physicist protests, β€œshouldn’t have waited a picosecond.”

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