Enjoy our team's carefully selected Physicist Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
How do you know that the driver driving toward you is a physicist?
He has a red sticker on his bumper that says โIf this sticker is blue, you are driving too fastโ.
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Did you hear about the physicist who was reading a great book on anti-gravity?
He couldnโt put it down.
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A physicist is watching a man who believes he can fly. Every time he goes up the steep hill, he jumps off and hurts himself.
The physicist watches this for 7 days.
On the 8th day, he goes to the man and says, โI donโt think you understand the gravity of the situation.โ
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All the physicists meet up in heaven and decide to play a game of hide and seek.
They decide that Fermi will be the seeker, so he closes his eyes and begins counting to 100.
All the physicists scatter, except for Newton, who calmly reaches into his pocket, takes out some chalk, and draws a square one meter on a side.
Fermi finishes counting and turns around, seeing Newton standing in his chalk square he yells, โI found Newton. Newton is out!โ
Newton protests, โNo, Iโm Newton in a meter square โ Iโm Pascal. Pascal is out!โ
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A mathematician, and physicist, and an engineer are asked to find the volume of a red rubber ball.
The mathematician knows that the volume of a sphere has been mathematically determined so he measures the radius and puts it into the proper formula.
The physicist knows that Archimedes discovered how to determine the volume of an object so they submerge it in water and record the change in water level.
The engineer finds the number on the ball then pulls out their book of red rubber balls and finds its specifications.
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My physicist girlfriend told me that she loves me to the moon and back.
Iโm worried she means displacement, not distance.
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A quantum physicist and his friend go out for ice cream.
โWhatโs your favorite flavor?โ asks the friend.
โCharm,โ replies the physicist.
His friend looks at him.
โWhy is it that whenever I ask you a question,โ begins the friend, โyour answer is always strange?โ
โWell, itโs strange โnowโ,โ the physicist protests, โshouldnโt have waited a picosecond.โ
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