Photo Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Photo Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Photo Jokes


Yo sister so fat that when she took a selfie, Instagram crashed.

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On 4 July, what do you get when you put a photo of America in a locket?

Then it becomes in-da-pendant.

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I got banned from Instagram for posting food pictures.

Apparently, they only want to see the food before you eat it, not after.

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Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter?

When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends’ houses to show them the picture of your dinner?

No?

Me neither.

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Your Momma is so fat she takes her picture with Google Earth.

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I’ve given up social media for the New Year, and I am trying to make friends outside Facebook while applying the same principles.

Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I’ve eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them.

And it works. I alreadyΒ have three people following me... two police officers and a psychiatrist.

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If I ever go missing, I would like my photo, but on wine bottles instead of milk cartons.

This way my friends will know where to look for me.

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I took a photo of my sunflower.

Now it can photosynthesize.

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A guy was in a bar drinking beer.

He would finish his beer, pull out his wallet and look at a picture of his wife, order another beer, take out his wallet, and look at a picture of his wife.

He did this several times. Finally, the bartender asks, why after you finish a beer you take out your wallet and look at a picture of your wife.

The guy says, β€œAs soon as she starts looking better to me, I go home.”

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A couple goes to an art gallery.

They find a picture of a woman with only her privates covered with leaves.

The wife doesn’t like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking.

The wife asks: β€œWhat are you waiting for?”

The husband replies, β€œAutumn.”

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Person 1: β€œHey! I see a UFO up there in the sky take a picture now!”

Person 2: β€œWait, I have to get the worst camera I have.”

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Yo mama’s so fat that she looks like Jabba the Hut before picture.

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Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot took her picture.

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Yo mama so fat her school pictures were taken by a satellite.

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Yo mama so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.

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What do you call a picture of a mushroom with no arms, legs or head?

A stalk photo.

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It would have been a photo finish, but by the time my horse finished, it was too dark to take a picture.

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Santa saw your Facebook pictures...

You’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.

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This guy was sitting in his attorney’s office.

His lawyer says, β€œDo you want the bad news first or the terrible news?”

β€œGive me the bad news first,” he says.

β€œYour wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars,” his lawyer informs him.

β€œThat’s the bad news?” asks the man incredulously. β€œI can’t wait to hear the terrible news.”

β€œThe terrible news is that it’s of you and your secretary.”

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Whenever I see a man with a beard, mustache and glasses, I think

β€œThere’s a man who has taken every precaution to avoid people doodling on photographs of him.”

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Your mama so fat a picture of her would fall off the wall!

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