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Jokes About Pharmacy



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Pharmacy Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



What do you call a pharmacist working at a veterinary drug company?

A FARM-ASSIST.

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How many pharmacists does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, every six hours for the next ten days.

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A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the man behind the counter, after dropping off his prescription, β€œExcuse me, but what time do you close on Sunday?”

He replies, β€œOh, we don’t close on Sunday.”

Pleasantly surprised, the man picks up some other items and leaves.

The next day β€” Sunday β€” the man goes to pick up his prescription, only to find a closed sign hanging on the door of the pharmacy. Peeved at the lying pharmacist, he trudges back home and waits Monday.

Monday morning, right as the pharmacist unlocks the door, the man is running up to him, shouting.

β€œHey! You said that you never closed on Sundays, but when I came around yesterday, you were closed! What gives?”

The pharmacist looks at the man and says, β€œWell, we in fact did not close yesterday, because we never even opened!”

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Blonde enters the pharmacy.

β€œDo you have pregnancy test?”

β€œYes, we do.”

β€œAre questions hard?”

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A rabbit walks into a pharmacy and asks, β€œDo you sell carrots?”

The pharmacist, surprised, responds, β€œNo, this is a pharmacy.”

The rabbit leaves only to return the next day and ask the same question.

This time, the man responds, β€œAs I said before, no. Go to a grocery store.”

Again, the rabbit leaves and returns the following day with the same question.

Annoyed, the pharmacist says, β€œLook, rabbit, for the last time, we do not sell carrots. If you ask this once more, I swear I will punch you in the face.”

On the next day, the rabbit returns and asks, β€œDo you sell carrots?”

Furious, the pharmacist punches the rabbit so hard its teeth get completely shattered.

The rabbit leaves, and comes back the next day.

β€œDo ya seh cahot juys?”

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Today at the pharmacy I saw a woman without a face mask buying a pregnancy test.

She clearly isn’t a fan of protection.

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Why should you be quiet inside a pharmacy?

You might wake the sleeping pills.

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A pharmacist returns to his shop from lunch to find a man leaning against the wall.

β€œWhat’s wrong with him?” He asks his assistant.

β€œHe came in for some cough syrup,” explains the assistant. β€œBut I couldn’t find any, so I sold him a bottle of laxatives instead.”

β€œWhat!” The pharmacist says, horrified. β€œYou can’t treat a cough with laxatives!”

β€œOf course you can,” the assistant declares. β€œLook at him – he’s far too scared to cough.”

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A man goes into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups.

The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man’s face.

β€œWhat did you do that for?” the man asks.

β€œWell, you don’t have the hiccups anymore, do you?”

The man says, β€œNo, but my wife out in the car still does!”

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A doctor is giving a talk at a symposium. Like any good public speaker, he wrote his speech out on notecards.

Unfortunately, when he gets up to the podium, he finds that he just can’t read his notes.

So, he says to the audience, β€œIs there a pharmacist in the house?”

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Conversation between a pharmacist and a female customer.

Woman: β€œI need to buy some arsenic.”

Pharmacist: β€œWhy do you need arsenic?”

Woman: β€œI need arsenic because I want to kill my husband.”

Pharmacist: β€œWHAT?”

Woman: β€œYou heard me! I want to kill my husband!”

Pharmacist: β€œWhy on earth would you want to do that?”

Woman: β€œBecause he’s having an affair with YOUR wife!!!”

Pharmacist: β€œWell why didn’t you tell me you had a prescription?”

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