Enjoy our team's carefully selected Pharmacy Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What do you call a pharmacist working at a veterinary drug company?
A FARM-ASSIST.
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How many pharmacists does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, every six hours for the next ten days.
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A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the man behind the counter, after dropping off his prescription, “Excuse me, but what time do you close on Sunday?”
He replies, “Oh, we don’t close on Sunday.”
Pleasantly surprised, the man picks up some other items and leaves.
The next day — Sunday — the man goes to pick up his prescription, only to find a closed sign hanging on the door of the pharmacy. Peeved at the lying pharmacist, he trudges back home and waits Monday.
Monday morning, right as the pharmacist unlocks the door, the man is running up to him, shouting.
“Hey! You said that you never closed on Sundays, but when I came around yesterday, you were closed! What gives?”
The pharmacist looks at the man and says, “Well, we in fact did not close yesterday, because we never even opened!”
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Blonde enters the pharmacy.
“Do you have pregnancy test?”
“Yes, we do.”
“Are questions hard?”
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A rabbit walks into a pharmacy and asks, “Do you sell carrots?”
The pharmacist, surprised, responds, “No, this is a pharmacy.”
The rabbit leaves only to return the next day and ask the same question.
This time, the man responds, “As I said before, no. Go to a grocery store.”
Again, the rabbit leaves and returns the following day with the same question.
Annoyed, the pharmacist says, “Look, rabbit, for the last time, we do not sell carrots. If you ask this once more, I swear I will punch you in the face.”
On the next day, the rabbit returns and asks, “Do you sell carrots?”
Furious, the pharmacist punches the rabbit so hard its teeth get completely shattered.
The rabbit leaves, and comes back the next day.
“Do ya seh cahot juys?”
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Today at the pharmacy I saw a woman without a face mask buying a pregnancy test.
She clearly isn’t a fan of protection.
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Why should you be quiet inside a pharmacy?
You might wake the sleeping pills.
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A pharmacist returns to his shop from lunch to find a man leaning against the wall.
“What’s wrong with him?” He asks his assistant.
“He came in for some cough syrup,” explains the assistant. “But I couldn’t find any, so I sold him a bottle of laxatives instead.”
“What!” The pharmacist says, horrified. “You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!”
“Of course you can,” the assistant declares. “Look at him – he’s far too scared to cough.”
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A man goes into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups.
The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man’s face.
“What did you do that for?” the man asks.
“Well, you don’t have the hiccups anymore, do you?”
The man says, “No, but my wife out in the car still does!”
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A doctor is giving a talk at a symposium. Like any good public speaker, he wrote his speech out on notecards.
Unfortunately, when he gets up to the podium, he finds that he just can’t read his notes.
So, he says to the audience, “Is there a pharmacist in the house?”
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Conversation between a pharmacist and a female customer.
Woman: “I need to buy some arsenic.”
Pharmacist: “Why do you need arsenic?”
Woman: “I need arsenic because I want to kill my husband.”
Pharmacist: “WHAT?”
Woman: “You heard me! I want to kill my husband!”
Pharmacist: “Why on earth would you want to do that?”
Woman: “Because he’s having an affair with YOUR wife!!!”
Pharmacist: “Well why didn’t you tell me you had a prescription?”
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