Jokes About Penguins

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Penguin Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Penguin Jokes

A guy runs into a bar, and yells, β€œQuick! How tall is a penguin?”

The bartender says, β€œThree feet tall.”

The guy says, β€œOh my God! I just ran over a nun!”

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Why can’t penguins fly?

They’re not tall enough to be pilots.

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I said to my doctor, β€œI wake up thinking I’m a penguin, and by the end of the day I believe I’m an arctic fox.”

He told me I was bipolar.

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Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?

Because they don’t have pockets.

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Why are fat penguins so popular at parties?

They know how to break the ice.

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An elephant, a giraffe and a penguin walk in to a bar.

It’s at this point I realize that there is something wrong with my pint.

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What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?


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A pair of cows were talking in the field.

One says, β€œHave you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”

β€œYeah,” the other cow says. β€œMakes me glad I’m a penguin.”

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Why shouldn’t you write a book on penguins?

Because writing on paper is much easier.

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A man runs into a bar and shouts, β€œQuick! How tall is a penguin?!”

The bartender says, β€œDepends. Less than 3 feet.”

The man cries out, β€œOh my God! I just drove over a nun!”

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A man is caught with the car full of penguins.

The policeman says, β€œYou have to take these animals to the zoo, or else I’ll fine you!”

The man agrees and leaves.

The next day, the same policeman again picks up the man with a car full of penguins.

The cop says, β€œDidn’t I tell you to take the penguins to the zoo?!”

The man replies, β€œI tookΒ them, now I’m going to take them to a football game.”

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