Jokes About Penguins

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Penguin Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Penguin Jokes

Why canโ€™t penguins fly?

Theyโ€™re not tall enough to be pilots.

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I said to my doctor, โ€œI wake up thinking Iโ€™m a penguin, and by the end of the day I believe Iโ€™m an arctic fox.โ€

He told me I was bipolar.

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Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?

Because they donโ€™t have pockets.

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Why are fat penguins so popular at parties?

They know how to break the ice.

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An Elephant, a Giraffe and a Penguin walk in to a bar.

Itโ€™s at this point I realize that there is something wrong with my pint.

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What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?


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A pair of cows were talking in the field.

One says, โ€œHave you heard about the mad cow disease thatโ€™s going around?โ€

โ€œYeah,โ€ the other cow says. โ€œMakes me glad Iโ€™m a penguin.โ€

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Why shouldnโ€™t you write a book on penguins?

Because writing on paper is much easier.

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A man runs into a bar and shouts, โ€œQuick! How tall is a penguin?!โ€

The bartender says, โ€œDepends. Less than 3 feet.โ€

The man cries out, โ€œOh my God! I just drove over a nun!โ€

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A man is caught with the car full of penguins.

The policeman says, โ€œYou have to take these animals to the zoo, or else Iโ€™ll fine you!โ€

The man agrees and leaves.

The next day, the same policeman again picks up the man with a car full of penguins.

The cop says, โ€œDidnโ€™t I tell you to take the penguins to the zoo?!โ€

The man replies, โ€œI tookย them, now Iโ€™m going to take them to a football game.โ€

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