Enjoy our team's carefully selected Penguin Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
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A guy runs into a bar, and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
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Why can’t penguins fly?
They’re not tall enough to be pilots.
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I said to my doctor, “I wake up thinking I’m a penguin, and by the end of the day I believe I’m an arctic fox.”
He told me I was bipolar.
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Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have pockets.
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Why are fat penguins so popular at parties?
They know how to break the ice.
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An elephant, a giraffe and a penguin walk in to a bar.
It’s at this point I realize that there is something wrong with my pint.
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What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?
Lost.
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A pair of cows were talking in the field.
One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
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Why shouldn’t you write a book on penguins?
Because writing on paper is much easier.
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A man runs into a bar and shouts, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?!”
The bartender says, “Depends. Less than 3 feet.”
The man cries out, “Oh my God! I just drove over a nun!”
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A man is caught with the car full of penguins.
The policeman says, “You have to take these animals to the zoo, or else I’ll fine you!”
The man agrees and leaves.
The next day, the same policeman again picks up the man with a car full of penguins.
The cop says, “Didn’t I tell you to take the penguins to the zoo?!”
The man replies, “I took them, now I’m going to take them to a football game.”
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