Enjoy our team's carefully selected Pencil Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Why did the redneck get colored pencils before he got his flu shot?
He heard that vaccines can make you artistic.
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Did you hear about the blue pencil who broke up with his girlfriend?
He decided to draw the line.
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What did the blue crayon say to the red crayon?
“Hey, pal, want to blue me away?”
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What did the blue crayon say to the yellow crayon?
“This isn’t cray-on you.”
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What did the blue crayon say to the green crayon?
“You’re green-crayon me!”
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What do you call a depressed blue crayon?
Blue-tiful.
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Why did the police officers arrest the blue crayon?
Because it was in the blue.
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A man arrived to a gun fight with nothing other than a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
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Why should you take a pencil to bed?
To draw the curtains.
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What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
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Why do pencils shave?
To look sharp.
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After my wife had a stressful day at work, I drew her a bath.
She wasn’t content. I’m so upset, I even used color pencils for this.
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What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?
They’re both pointless.
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Dean to the physics department:
“Why do I always have to give you guys so much money for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff? Why couldn’t you be more like the math department—all they need is pencils, paper, and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper.”
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Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
Because it’s pointless.
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Where did the vampire teacher throw the Teachers’ Day party?
In Pencilvania.
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Teacher: “Which is the best hand to use when writing something, the left hand or the right hand?”
Pupil: “None of them. It’s better to use a pen or pencil.”
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?
Pointless.
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