Paper Jokes

Enjoy our team's carefully selected Paper Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!

Paper Jokes

One evening, as she was sitting by the window of her room in the convent, Sister Ruth opened the letter from home that her parents had sent to her.

Inside the letter, was a $100 bill, a generous gift from her parents.

Sister Ruth smiled at the gesture, pondering what to do with the money, since living in the convent she didnโ€™t really need any.

As she read the letter, sitting by the window, she noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below.

Quickly, she wrote โ€œDonโ€™t despair. Sister Ruthโ€, on a piece of paper.

She then wrapped the $100 bill in it, managed to catch the manโ€™s attention, and tossed the paper out of the window to him.

The stranger picked it up, then with a puzzled expression on his face and a tip of his hat, off he went down the street.

The next day, Sister Ruth was told that a man was at the door of the convent, and he insisted on seeing her.

She went downstairs, where she found the stranger waiting for her.

Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills.

โ€œWhatโ€™s this?โ€ she asked, puzzled and confused.

โ€œThatโ€™s the $8,000 you have coming, Sisterโ€, the man replied. โ€œDonโ€™t Despair won the race at 80:1 odds!โ€

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A man arrived to a gun fight with nothing other than a pencil and paper.

He then proceeded to draw his weapon.

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Why did the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it was on a roll.

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I got pulled over by a traffic cop.

He walked up to my window and said, โ€œPapers.โ€

I said, โ€œScissors, I winโ€ฆโ€ and I drove off.

He must be desperate for a re-match because heโ€™s been chasing me for ages.

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An English teacher was getting late for school on Teachersโ€™ Day.

Suddenly, a cop pulled him over and asked for papers.

He gladly gave him all of his studentsโ€™ essays to grade and drove off.

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Teacher: โ€œI hope I didnโ€™t see you looking at Timโ€™s exam paper.โ€

Pupil: โ€œI hope you didnโ€™t see me either!โ€

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So when December comes around I sit under the Christmas tree, wrap myself in wrapping paper, and live in the present.

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Why didnโ€™t the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in a crack.

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I bought a toilet brush since I saw one in pretty much everyoneโ€™s bathroom.

But after giving it a try for a week I decided to go back to using toilet paper.

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A kid in school hands in a blank piece of paper for his art homework.

The teacher says, โ€œWhatโ€™s this?โ€

The kid says, โ€œA picture of a cow eating grass.โ€

The teacher asks, โ€œWhereโ€™s the grass?โ€

The kid says, โ€œThe cow ate it all.โ€

โ€œOk, then whereโ€™s the cow?โ€

โ€œIt left because there was no more grass.โ€

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You never really appreciate what youโ€™ve got until itโ€™s gone.

Toilet paper is a good example.

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Iโ€™ve just finished writing a book on snakes.

It would have been much easier if Iโ€™d just written in on paper...

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Quarantine has been hard. Iโ€™ve run out of toilet paper, and have to use lettuce leaves.

Itโ€™s only going to get worse, though... this is just the tip of the iceberg.

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Guess what you call a sleeping piece of paper?

A napkin.

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Working from home. Day 1:

Thisโ€™ll be fantastic! I get to stay inside and eat toast on a paper towel.

Day 8:

Engages in conversation with a lamp...

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How did the teacher find out that Shohag copied Danikaโ€™s exam paper?

Because when Danika said โ€œI donโ€™t knowโ€, Shohag said โ€œMe neitherโ€.

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A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing.

Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with renewed vigor, returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins his dayโ€™s work.

After he retires, the new accountant can hardly wait to read for himself the message contained in the envelope in the drawer, particularly since he feels so inadequate in replacing the far wiser and more highly esteemed accountant.

Surely, he thinks to himself, it must contain the great secret to his success, a wondrous treasure of inspiration and motivation.

His fingers tremble anxiously as he removes the mysterious envelope from the drawer and reads the following message:

โ€œDebits in the column toward the file cabinet.

Credits in the column toward the window.โ€

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