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Onion Jokes



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Onion Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Onion Jokes


My wallet is like an onion.

Whenever I open it my eyes tear up.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


I’m an annoying on the outside, but I’m like an onion.

You peel back the layers, find the same thing and just start crying.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


A mother, father and daughter onion are out for a walk.

They get to the streetlight at an intersection and as the walk sign lights up, they begin to cross but a careless driver catches the daughter onion and she rolls to the side of the road, horribly injured.

She is rushed to the hospital and after a few hours the doctor comes to the waiting room to speak to the parents, β€œSir, ma’am, I have good news and bad news.”

β€œOkay, give it to us, Doc, we want to know how she’s doing.”

β€œWell,” says the doctor, β€œthe good news is your daughter is going to live.”

The parent onions feel a huge relief, then ask for the bad news.

β€œThe bad news is, she’s going to be a vegetable for the rest of her life.”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


The cook gifted his girlfriend something she would like. Guess what?

An onion ring.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


One day this kid walks into an ice cream parlor and asks the guy behind the counter, β€œDo you have onion-flavored ice cream?”

The guy says, β€œNo, we don’t have onion-flavored ice cream.”

So the kid says, β€œOk,” and leaves.

The next day, the kid comes back in and asks the same question.

The guy again informs him that they don’t carry onion-flavored ice cream.

This goes on for a week, and the guy running the ice cream shop figures the kid is probably autistic.

So, one night, he goes home and starts to work on a recipe for onion-flavored ice cream. He stays up all night working and perfecting onion-flavored ice cream, just for this kid.

Then, the next morning, when the kid comes in at his usual time and asks if they have onion-flavored ice cream, the guy answers him.

β€œYes! Yes, we have onion-flavored ice cream!”

The kid replies, β€œYou must be stupid. Who is gonna buy onion-flavored ice cream?!”

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


An onion just told me a joke.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„


Yo momma is so ugly, she made an onion cry.

πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„ πŸ˜„





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