Ole and Lena Jokes

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Ole and Lena Jokes

Ole and Lena went fishing one day on a rented boat and were catching fish like crazy.

Lena said, “We better mark this spot so we can come back tomorrow and catch more fish.”

Ole then proceeded to mark the bottom of the boat with a large “X”.

Lena asked him what he was doing, and Ole told her he was marking the spot so they could come back to catch more fish.

Lena said, “You big dummy, how do you know we are going to get the same boat tomorrow?”

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Ole sadly died, so Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries.

The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole.

Lena replied, “You just put ‘Ole died’.”

The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, “That’s it? Just ‘Ole died?’ Surely, there must be something more you’d like to say about Ole. If it’s money you’re concerned about, the first five words are free. We must say something more.”

So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally said, “Okay. You put ‘Ole died. Boat for sale’.”

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One fine day Ole decided to take Lena for a drive in his new car.

As they were driving through town, a policeman pulled them over and told Ole that he was doing 50 miles an hour in a 30 zone.

“Oh no,” Ole protested, “I was only doing tirty, officer.”

“No, you were doing fifty,” replied the cop.

“Really, officer, I was only doing tirty”, Ole replied stubbornly.

“Well,” bellowed the cop, “I clocked you doing FIFTY!”

At that point, Lena, sitting in the back seat and trying to be helpful, spoke up, “Officer, you really shouldn’t argue with Ole ben he’s been drinking.”

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Ole and Lena got married.

After a beautiful ceremony and a fun but modest reception, they got in Ole’s car and headed out on their honeymoon.

When they reached Saint Paul, Ole put his hand on Lena’s knee.

Lena said, “Ole, we’re married now. You can go farder.”

So Ole drove to Duluth.

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Ole and Lena are out at the lake, getting ready to put the boat in the water. Lena driving and Ole standing in the pickup bed.

The brakes fail as Lena’s backing the boat into the lake, and the truck submerges.

Lena swims out the open window, but Ole doesn’t come up for the longest time.

Finally, up pops Ole. Lena asks him, “What took you so long?”

Ole replies, “Oh, you know, that tailgate is hard to open!”

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