Jokes About Office



Enjoy our team's carefully selected Office Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!



Office Jokes


A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

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Remember that one time when you had to get out of bed and actually commute to your office?

Yeah, me neither.

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The best part about working in an office is that if you ever forget that you got a haircut, someone will definitely point it out to you.

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When I got to work Monday, I was limping something awful. My boss noticed and asked me what had happened.

I told him, โ€œOh, nothing. Itโ€™s just an old football injury that acts up once in a while.โ€

My boss eyed me suspiciously and said, โ€œGee, I never knew you played football.โ€

I said, โ€œWell, I donโ€™t. I hurt it yesterday when I lost $100 on New York Jets. I put my foot through the television...โ€

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A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall and idly picking his teeth. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.

He asked the guy, โ€œHow much money do you make a week?โ€

A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, โ€œI make a little over $400 a week, why?โ€

The CEO said, โ€œWait right here.โ€

He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, โ€œHereโ€™s four weeksโ€™ pay. Now GET OUT and donโ€™t come back.โ€

Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, โ€œDoes anyone want to tell me what that goofball did here?โ€

From across the room, a voice said, โ€œSure, he was the Pizza delivery guy and was just waiting to collect the money.โ€

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What do your boss and a slinky have in common?

Theyโ€™re both fun to watch tumble down the stairs.

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Our computers went down at work today, so I had to play Solitaire with a real deck of cards.

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To whoever stole my Microsoft Office:

Iโ€™m coming after you. You have my Word!

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A local lawyer was sitting in his office the other morning when in walked a beautiful young lady.

Without any preliminaries, she said she wanted a divorce.

โ€œOn what grounds?โ€ asked the lawyer.

โ€œI donโ€™t think he is faithful to me,โ€ she replied.

โ€œAnd what makes you think he isnโ€™t faithful?โ€ asked the lawyer.

โ€œWell,โ€ replied the young lady, โ€œI donโ€™t think he is the father of my child.โ€

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This guy was sitting in his attorneyโ€™s office.

His lawyer says, โ€œDo you want the bad news first or the terrible news?โ€

โ€œGive me the bad news first,โ€ he says.

โ€œYour wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars,โ€ his lawyer informs him.

โ€œThatโ€™s the bad news?โ€ asks the man incredulously. โ€œI canโ€™t wait to hear the terrible news.โ€

โ€œThe terrible news is that itโ€™s of you and your secretary.โ€

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Brunette Mary and blonde Liz were talking in the office one day.

Mary: โ€œWow, that is some cold you have, Liz.โ€

Liz: โ€œTell me about it. I just cannot get rid of it.โ€

Mary: โ€œTry some Cold-Doc 3. I have a bottle on my desk. Just take 3 tablespoons before you go to bed and youโ€™ll be fine. Here ya go.โ€

Liz: โ€œThanks, Iโ€™ll give it a try.โ€

The next day Liz was standing by her desk jumping up and down, waving her arms in the air, and kicking her legs out.

Mary: โ€œLiz, It is nice to see you are feeling better. Is that a new dance?โ€

Liz: โ€œOh No, I still donโ€™t feel that great. I took the medicine you gave me and just realized it said to shake well before using.โ€

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I got a job at a paperless office.

Everything was great until I needed to use the bathroom.

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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?

You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

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