Enjoy our team's carefully selected No Arms No Legs Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
I had a terrible Labor Day weekend. My wife was in a horrible car crash and lost her left leg and left arm.
She’s all right now.
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What do you call a man with one leg?
Anything you want. He can’t run fast enough to catch you.
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What do you call a dog, with one eye and one leg?
Lucky.
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My grandpa returned from the war with one leg.
We still don’t know to whom that leg belonged.
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What does a one-legged man call karate?
Partial Arts.
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The policeman told me he was chasing a man with one leg.
I told him to use both, he would get him faster.
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Why do one-legged people like beer?
Because it’s made with hops.
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What do you call a Chinese man with one leg?
Tai Wan Shu.
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My friend went bankrupt after inventing a sandal for people with only one leg.
It was a flop.
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My girlfriend has a great job down at the brewery despite having only one leg.
She’s in charge of the hops.
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I saw a one-legged man with no arms at the ATM today. He asked me to help him check his balance.
So I pushed the guy over.
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Did you hear the one about the blonde fox that got stuck in a trap?
She chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
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If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks.
It cost me an arm and a leg.
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What do you call a dog with 2 legs?
Snoop Dogg.
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What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he ain’t gonna come.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?
Tri-tip.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground Beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Your mom!
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My pharmacist recently lost his arm.
Now I call him my “phacist”.
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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in a hot dog bun?
Frank.
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What do you call a picture of a mushroom with no arms, legs or head?
A stalk photo.
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